I think I need help for anxiety.

[Holly66]

Ok firstly i'm not sure if i've posted this in the wrong place, sorry if I have.

This will sound silly but I have finally admitted to myself that I have a problem and that I need help and i'm sitting here in tears thinking what do I do now? I've made an appointment to see my GP on Thursday but i'm scared and thought i'd post on here to see if anyone can offer me advice and support.

Its a long story but here is the shortened version. I was abused and repeatedly raped by my father between ages of 10 and until my mum moved me out the house at 13. When I was 17 I took my father to court and he was found guilty of muiltiple rape, CBH and assult. The judge granted him bail and he disappeared and has been on the run since. I have had to live eith the fact he is still out there which I find very frightening, although I have tried not to let it get to me. Then 2 years ago I had my son and my anxiety levels rose a lot because i'm terrified my dad will hurt my son. But once again I tried to battle through. I had to be medicated for insomnia but managed to sort myself out after a while.

However I have recently found out some more bad news about my dad and I am struggling to cope. My anxiety levels are so high and my insomnia has come back worse than before. i went to my GP and just asked for a few sleeping pills to get my through but did not mention my anxiety. I know deep down I need help.

I lie in bed and my heart pounds so hard it hurts. I feel like I can't breathe. Every noise scares me. I drift off but jump awake a few seconds later in panic. I know it can't go on and I know i need treatment for my anxiety. I have tried herbal remedies with no success so I am going to talk to my doctor.

BUT i'm scared of what my doctor will say. What medications are there? Will they make me a zombie? Will he think i'm mad? I know it sounds silly but i'm so scared of what my doctor will want to do.

I'm not depressed, I know that. I love my life. Its just when i'm alone in the dark I can't control my anxiety (i'm a single mum)

Sorry i've waffled on. You will probably think i'm really stupid. Just desperate for some friendly advice. Thank you

pjani thank you for replying. I'm just nervous of what the doctor will do but you have eased my fears slightly.

Thank you

Please don't be nervous, you've had some really difficult circumstances and it's not surprising you're feeling anxious. You're taking the right step to go and get some help.

I'm also suffering with anxiety. Partly post-natal and partly linked to a sudden bereavement I had last year. Like you, I was lying awake at night, heart pounding. At times I was so worked up I felt like crying for hours. I was scared I was going mad.

I'm waiting for some counselling. In the meantime, I agreed to try some medication which I really wasn't keen on doing. I tried one which didn't agree with me at all. I only took one tablet then no more. I went back a few weeks later to another doctor who was much more understanding, I'm now on an older anti-depressant/anti-anxiety pill and I'm feeling so much better. I'm a little anxious about stopping taking them now but by then I should have been for the counselling and hopefully will be fine. Good luck, it's really worth going along.

Hi Holly66, sorry to read about your story, but well done for how well you have done so far. I suffered with anxiety a few years ago and was worried about visiting my GP. I thought that she would think I was been stupid and wasting their time. However, I needn't have worried. She was lovely and listened to what I had to say, we then discussed the different options available before deciding together which would be most suitable for me. I attended 1 to 1 councelling sessions for my issues. At the end of the day they are there to help, and as long as your open and honest with them they will help you the best they can.
I hope you start to feel better soon.

Don't forget you can book a double appointment. Then you'll have enough time for the doctor to really get a good picture of how you're feeling and to find the best way to help you.

How did you get on today Holly66? Hope it went well.