Adjusting to ds2 or pnd?

[Ginga66]

I have a three year old ds and a four week old. I have posted elsewhere about my feelings towards ds2 but wondering bow is it pnd.
Basically I have been feeling exceptionally guilty for not being as available for ds1. We have always been very close with me doing all the nights. Now my dh has moved in with ds1 as he still wakes in the night and so he can get sleep. Ds2 and I in the other room.
My ds1 has been in the main good about the baby but is being clingy and crying at times and rejecting of me or baby at others, I find myself crying about this most days.
I also seem to be not feeling as attached to ds2. I know I love him but have moments of irritation and resentment when he needs me and ds1 does at the same time.
I have had severe ocd iin the past and this is returning, it is mainly intrusive disturbing thoughts which terrify and depress me.
I feel fine in the day but quite low at night.
I have a history of depression and anxiety but am scared to talk to dr as they may assume I can't cope but the children want for nothing.
Plus as I am bf and co sleeping don't want anti depressants and where wld I find the time for counselling..
Am I just a bit tired and blue or anyone with similar diagnosed pnd?

It is a horrendous balancing act when baby no. 2 arrives. I know in my case I recognise my first warning signs of my mood getting low. I think a chat about your concerns to your health visitor ( if they're any good) or your g.p. Please don't try to 'get by' like I did, it just ends up being something else to feel guilty about . Congratulations on your new arrival.

Thanks I will try