Stay or go?

[scuzy]

so do i put up with living with someone on anti ds anxiety tabs and in general a nightmare to live it for the rest of my life?

no sex, no touching, no intimacy, no help raising our child, bare conversation, more like house mates, has threatened to commit suicide if i leave, day in day out same thing. doesnt leave house much. is seeking help seeing people regularly. is on so many tablets. been like this about 3 solid years now.

so is this my life? i wish at times he would give me a black eye or have an affair so i have a valid reason to leave. i love him, i know he is ill but its a loveless relationship i feel. they are only words. he tells me he loves me. i think yeah, ok, whatever. so do i put up and shut up?

am i a bitch?

no you are not obliged.
go talk to a counsellor.

threatening suicide?
"commit suicide if i leave" really?
only he has power to suicide or not and you are not responsible for that decision.

dont fall into trap of thinking that by staying you are preventing his suicide. if he really wants to kill himself he will whether you there or not....

if he threatens suicide you call 999 and get them to assess him.
if he truly is at risk of suicide he needs profressional help - you cannot give that to him. get him to A&E/call 999/get him to GP.

if he is getting help - then clearly he needs diferent help but is up to him to get that.

you have to decide whether staying is best for you and your child(ren).

what does he give to the child's life?
would it be better for child to have short bursts of time with him as separated parents?

Hi Scuzy, doesnt sound like much of a life. i have suffered too, however after my divorce, i am at least free and out of the mindset of my exH to find myself and allow myself some happiness. i met a new partner and then he started having MH issues and it has somehow put me back. But this time i got out of the relationship relatively quickly compared to exH.
I think after 3 yrs you have given it a good go and time. Perhaps by getting out you will actually be helping him. bollocks to the suicide threat.
you do have a valid reason to leave, you are unhappy.
You are not a bitch and you do not put up and shut up either. do you have dcs? have you considered marriage councelling?

dont go to marriage counselling with him if his MH is not sorted out.

go to individual counselling for you.

thanks for the replies guys. we have tried seperate and together counselling. things pick up for couple weeks then back to square one. i'm just at my wits end. i'm ranting i know. i just wish i could find the man i fell in love with not this emotionless shell who i feel doesnt give a shit about me.