First post - overwhelming anxiety

[MrsAnxiety]

Hello
Any advice or thoughts welcome as I am really struggling. My DD is 3 and fir the past 18 months or so I have been panicking about her health, with no real reasons to. Hard winter with several virusy things, tonsillitis and norovirus all caught from nursery, but nothing odd or unusual. Still I find myself sick with worry.

It's irrational and in times of calmness, I know that but I constantly take her temperature, analyse how pale or flushed she looks, ask her if she's ok and totally overreact if she's a modicum warm or says anything hurts.

I worry most weekends, spend my working day waiting on nursery calling to say she's I'll and very rarely relax.

It's affecting us all, DH sick of my anxiety and I don't know what to do to break the cycle.

I do listen to hypnosis tapes, take Bachs rescue remedy and try to talk myself round, nothing really catching the symptoms now. I feel a bit out of control and very very sad too.

Thanks for reading.

Sorry you are going through this. Its a lot more common than you might think. You might find Cognitive Behavioural therapy helpful (CBT). there are lots of books in the library / on amazon but might be good idea to have a chat with Gp first. The NHS waiting lists for CBT are long but you can see someone privately very quickly.

Im sure someone with health anxiety will come along and offer more specific advice.

There are things you can do - and you can improve from this so try and hang on to that.

You poor thing...it's horrible to be living in a constant state of fear, isn't it?

Don't know if you're aware, but this kind of anxiety is starting to be recognised as a form of OCD. It's all about obsessive thoughts that, no matter how hard you try, simply won't go.

For example, people who wash their hands over and over usually know perfectly well that it's unnecessary, but that voice screaming in their head "BUT WHAT IF THERE ARE GERMS!" will not shut up and drowns out the rational, calming voice.

That's what's happening to you, but in a different way. You know that your DD is OK - but something is screaming in your head "BUT WHAT IF SHE'S NOT?" and that thought will not go no matter what you do.

You are catastrophizing - and this is very common. You see her looking faintly flushed or being a bit out of sorts and immediately leap to the worst possible conclusion - something that could be harmful or deadly. Of course, there are a million other far less sinister reasons why she could be flushed, but you leap frog over them and imagine the very, very worst. And it's scary.

It's tough to get over this yourself - you do need CBT which WILL help. You do NOT have a mental disorder, btw, in case I've worried you - it's just that a coping mechanism that we all have to keep our children safe has gotten out of control and needs reining in.

See your GP about CBT - or ask for a private referral if you can afford it. This honestly will help. It will help you overcome negative thought patterns and start to get some perspective again.

There are also loads of books on Amazon about Health Anxiety (which is what this is - just not your health).

Good luck :)

Thanks so much for replying. I have no idea how I got into this situation but equally know I can't spend my whole life feeling like this.

I have started to research a bit about CBT, so thanks for that suggestion too.

It's an overwhelming condition and I spend so much time hiding it from family, colleagues and friends that I feel I'm living a bit of a lie.

Thanks again, I've just welled up at the kindness of both your posts.

Than you too, I know what you mean about the reasoning. I have tried to take myself out of the situation, like look in on what I actually see, to gain some perspective but the actual overwhelming nature makes that so hard to do.

It's a physical feeling too, absolute panic, tightness , nausea ......I actually once drove 700 miles home from a conference because she had a temp of under 38 but above what it normally is.

That was over 6 months ago, but I know I would react in the same way now and that's why I need to address it ASAP.

Thanks so much again