Every weekend is being ruined - I need to learn some coping mechanisms for Emetophobia

[Adayforthinking]

Hi there,

I'm an Emetophobe and have recently started CBT, although I've only had two sessions. My third is this Friday. At my last session, my therapist felt that the plan she had in mind for me wouldn't work as the problem is too deep-rooted so she's going back to the drawing board this week to think about it again before my next session.

My problem is the weekends. I have a 3 year old DD who hasn't been sick since January, when she started a private school and caught two tummy bugs in the first two weeks. But my phobia is escalating week on week.

My DD doesn't go to school on Fridays as it's my day off, but for some reason I have it in my head that my 'safe' period is 48 hours after she was last at school, which basically means that I don't relax until the Saturday evening. Within that 48 hour period if my DD looks slightly pale, says her tummy hurts or even says something totally unrelated like that she has a sore head, I immediately think she's going to be sick. And I go into a complete panic, showing all the classic anxiety symptoms. I've stopped enjoying food on Fridays and Saturdays because the feeling in my stomach is so uncomfortable with anxiety.

I haven't been sick for about 13 or 14 years but I remember feeling very anxious about stomach upsets since I was about 10. I can be with my daughter when she's sick and can clear up from her being sick. It's not other people being sick that's the problem, it's if I can catch it. It's me being sick that I'm terrified about.

I know that CBT is going to be a long road so what I'm really looking for are suggestions of any coping mechanisms in the meantime, this is effecting my time with my DD and I'm already dreading the winter when the bugs are at their worst.

My GP has prescribed Anti-sickness tablets for me, to put on my gums if I feel nauseous and I'm proud of myself that I don't carry them around with me. They're in my bedside drawer and I have only taken them once or twice. But even though they are there, it still doesn't help how I feel.

Is there anyone that's been here and can help me cope?

Been there too and I know how depressing it is.

I don't have time to type my entire history here as I'm at work but I have been emetephobic as long as I can remember. However, I had CBT a couple of years ago when my panic attacks were really starting to take over as yours sound like they are. I had about 8 sessions and I don't know how it works but it does. It just subtly diffuses things, rewires your brain somehow. I didn't realise it was working for a couple of months. My husband was away for a fortnight recently and I dealt with the kids having a sick bug all alone - I used to rely on him a lot. I even felt I would cope if I caught it, though I also have anti-emetics from the doctor too. (They really work if it comes to it too!)

Have faith in the CBT - tell them everything. Really explore what is going on in your head no matter how bizarre the stuff is that you end up saying.

Minko, thank you so much for telling me your experience, to me, it seems like the worst phobia possible as you can't avoid it AT ALL!! Not without putting significant impact on your family anyway...

Thank you for telling me to stick to the CBT, I'm determined that it will work. At the moment the therapist is working out what to do with me, so I'm really hoping that it works for me. How did they work with you from a CBT point of view? Maybe I could give the therapist some pointers as she seems to be struggling at the moment... Having already had 2 sessions they haven't even worked out the plan yet!

Also, what anti-emetics did you get from your GP. I got the ones that you put high up on your gum and they release the anti-sickness drug into your blood stream, it means you don't have to swallow them. TBH I was starting to doubt that they would work which was making the panic worse. But you have confirmed that they really do (which is what the GP also said) so that may help me feel better.

It's wonderful to hear that the CBT helped you. So how are you now?

I don't know if my therapist had a specific approach. She'd never come across anyone with emetephobia before which didn't fill me with hope at the beginning.

We spent a lot of time analysing bad experiences - particular events. I remembered events going back to when I was 5 where sickness had scared me. She then asked what I had been specifically scared of, what I thought was going to happen, remembering how I felt at the time. And then we rationalised it. And talked about how I would cope better with similar situations in the future. A lot of it was just the relief of unbottling all this stuff. Just getting it out seemed to help. I remember saying that when someone is sick, in my head they turn into someone/something else, like they are no longer my husband or whoever, but some sort of scarey monster. Once you've said it, and you're conscious of it, it makes you realise how strange that is. And makes you rationalise it.

We also formulated a lot of coping strategies to reassure me that I'd cope in the future. It makes you realise you have nothing to fear but fear itself really.

Really good luck with it all. Don't look for instant signs that things are getting better. I just went away reassured, but it was only in the long term I found that things had changed.