Getting used to life again after being an in-patient

[babyheaves]

I was discharged from psych hospital today after 6 and a bit weeks of being an inpatient. After the initial joy of being out and being back home, I'm finding myself crashing down again as the stressors that put me there are still here at home and I have to start to tackle them.

I do have support but leaving the protective bubble of the hospital, its all a bit overwhelming.

Has anyone else got any advice or has been through similar who would like to talk to me about it?

One bit at a time helped me, still does to an extent (I was in march/April).

I know- I felt ok for about 5 hours then felt rubbish! What really helped me was having someone there doing everything for me, then I took back bits of responsibility gradually when I chose until I was back doing everything again. However, I had the luxury of my church looking after us 24/7 until I was fully well. Do you have day to day help?

DH is doing almost everything, but I feel a bit out of my depth and every day things like cooking dinner and doing some washing feel insurmountable. My suitcase is still in the hall unpacked for a start.

I know I was well enough to be discharged, but don't feel well enough to manage at home. The Crisis Team will be coming round tomorrow late afternoon and I just need to work out how to get through until then. Bah. Damn you brain and your faulty working.

I think you need to feel the pressure it totally off you to do anything at all. You have to be able to choose what you do and when. Unpacking a bag would have been impossible when I came home- having to put lots of things away in different places! To much brain power. My first thing I chose to do was have a shower. It went on from there and I am completely functionIng as normal now- apart from not being able to face putting shopping away weirdly!
So just recuperate and take on new things when you want to. Explain to DH that this is what you need to do and that you will get better more quickly this way.
A trick I learned for doing seeming insurmountable tasks- just say to yourself 'I am going to do five things. Then I can stop if I want or do another five things'. For example- pick up a cup and move it to beside the sink was one thing. Push a chair under the table was another. Etc etc. I still do this now if my mind goes blank when facing a task. Xx

Thats good advice. If tomorrow I plan to get up, have a shower and get the suitcase upstairs that should do me until the crisis team come over in the afternoon. I am going to ask if there's any chance of some diazepam for these first few days, but I suspect it will be a no.

I just wish my mood would stop swinging all over the place. I had a friend call up earlier and made plans for her to come over, but within 5 mins of putting the phone down realised it was a very bad idea and called her back to cancel.

Much though I am pleased to be home, its bloody hard work getting through each day without the support on tap.

What are this crisis team going to do to help you? They need to be working with you to face your daily life and look at what is at the root of your problems -tablets etc while helpful are only a short term measure

I'm not even sure what I can ask of the Crisis Team. Last time I was being supported by them was when I was severely depressed before my admission where they were coming round frequently to make sure I was OK and helped me do things like make a cup of tea as I was that bad.

They've not really explained to me what else they can help me do.

I've not had crisis team after an admission either, they might be able to help you plan what you're going to do/suggest things to try to aid your recovery. Good luck for when they do come.

I just feel pretty clueless. First night out was OK, but last night wasn't. I am holding it together with sticky tape and a desire not to end up back on the ward again. I'll see what they say when they arrive. I've been plagued by door to door sales people today. It must be national annoy babyheave day, but I didn't get the memo.

Hugs, good luck with it, hope they help. I can empathise with your feelings, feeling similarly about seeing someone from cmht tomorrow, they're making daily contact at the moment.

I had a kind of stepping stones approach. The stepping stones were small pleasures in my day and I got through the days by just lasting from one to the next. So for example:

1. really good cup of coffee
2. shower with a really nice shower gel
3. time out to read the paper
4. going to the gym
5. nice dinner

While I was doing them I tried not to think about all the stuff I'd failed to do or had to do. It was all about just being in the moment enjoying that pleasure. Then instead of the day just pressing down on me, I knew I had x hours until the next thing. I sometimes managed to fill that time with something useful, and sometimes just stared into space throughout, but it gave days a structure and helped me with self-care, which is very hard when you're really ill.

I think, don't be surprised or discouraged at how long it takes - looking back I think it used to take me almost a year to feel fully back on my feet (by which time I would be admitted again!) and to just set very small achievable goals and resist the temptation to compare what gets done in a day with what you usually manage during your lunch hour

The crisis team should help you start to get your daily structure back. They can refer you to psychology, organise a med review or just sit and chat. They should be a great support.

Of course, keep talking on here too. You must feel so lost. Lots of people here given good advice. Stick with it.

Well they came around and they will be working with me from tomorrow to work on getting some structure to my day. They also told me off for already planning my return to work, but I need to work to pay the mortgage.

In a strange way I miss being in hospital where there were things to do and always plenty of company (even if some of it was seriously off the wall). I do feel lost now I'm back home. Its like being dumped into the middle of someone else's family. I don't know what to do with myself.

Hi babyheave. Glad you're back home.
I was discharged in early October 2010. It took me till Xmas of that year to feel I could cope with day-to-day tasks anfurl most a year till I felt ready to go back to work.

I found recording my "achievements" ie making tea, putting a load of washing on, everyday helped. It made me see that even though I felt I'd done nothing all day I had actually accomplished something.

It's early days yet and you will probably feel exhausted after even the simplest of tasks. Just take each day at a time (cliched but true) and get lots of rest.

Babyheaves hang in there. I was lucky when coming out of hospital that I was still pretty manic (think they released me too early TBH, I was in for 8 or 9 weeks) so the early days and weeks I felt pretty invincible! Then the depression set in and it all fell apart again. The only thing that got me through was one step at a time. One. At. A. Time.

Baby steps for babyheaves. Repeat as necessary.

babyheave I've never been diagnosed with any mental health issues, but I know I've had them. I have had instances in the last 8 years where I have felt just as helpless as you. The first after a MMC and the second after redundancy following a MMC! My mental health was very fragile.

The only advice I would give is do one thing at a time as others have said, expect less of yourself than you think and really know and understand that your mental health is paramount. No inviting friends over just yet, no thoughts of going back to work, your mental health is more important, and don't worry if you don't feel part of your family. I spent weeks and weeks avoiding everyone. If they came into a room, I left it, inc my 2yo son. I couldn't deal at first with anything at all.

I hope you start to feel better soon, take care of yourself.

How are you today babyheaves? Btw do you have kids?

Yes I have children but I'm not looking after them at the moment, they're with family most of the time.

Today has been a hard day. I'm still in the process of getting my mood stabilised, so am rapid cycling at the mo and the mixed states are vile.

There's an assumption that since I'm out of hospital, I'm better. To be honest, I feel a hell of a lot worse.

sorry you are feeling worse, think is completely to be expected - it's a v precarious time but hopefully will improve soon

do you have everything you need? are home treatment team supportive?

I felt that too at first. Give it time and then you will start to enjoy home and normal life again xxx I had the most immense breakdown when I came home, but I recovered without going back in. Will get better x

Babyheaves are there any groups in your area you could go to? I used to go to group therapy every week for quite a long time after I left. It really helped with the transition and stopped me feeling so alone with it all. If that is a possibility for you I strongly recommend it.

sorry, after I left hospital, that should say.

Agree completely Eldritch. I got to go to a "day hospital" for a few months after I was discharged and at the time I hated it (but was very depressed so hated everything really) - however now looking back it was very helpful.

Babyheaves it would be great to find something like that - the Crisis Team or your CMHT could hopefully help. Do you have a Care Plan and a Care Plan Co-ordinator?

There's a support group that meets on Wed and also I could go up to the hospital on a Thurs as well for another group, but haven't made it to either yet.

I'm really struggling this week. I'm certainly not as bad I was before I was admitted.