Need a break from the stress but it's impossible

[tulipsaremyfavourite]

I have lived under severe stress all my life. Grew up in an abusive, neglectful completely dysfunctional family. Went from that into an abusive dysfunctional relationship. Had children who are now 6 and 8.

Am feeling overwhelmed and overburdened with responsibility mainly about the children. Am desperate to do all the things for them that I never had as a child. Take an interest in their education be supportive, interested, caring and loving. But it's so hard. I never sleep well. Am tired all the time so often just too tired to do things with the children after school despite all my best intentions.

Am constantly worrying about money even though we are comfortable. Always worried about DH losing his job or getting ill and being unable to work.

My health is terrible. Have lost eyesight in one eye. Have severe painful eczema that no medication seems to clear. Have partial hearing loss and tinnitus in one ear. Asthma.

Am only 42 but feel 82. Honestly wonder how much longer I will live before completely falling apart.

Have a few friends but they have their own problems.

Am on anti d's which help a bit. Was suicidal 2 years ago which is when i started anti d's.

Most days i drop dc off at school and come home and lie in bed until it's time to collect them.

DH doesn't understand. He's busy with work and has his own friends and social life. We never do anything together. I don't like him much. He never listens to me. Am only with him because of the children and financial support as i cannot work.

I wish i was single and childfree. I cannot handle the stress and responsibility of a family. Instead i need someone to look after me. I have never had that. Parents never looked after me. I looked after myself. Am just tired now. I can't go on. I just want to curl up and never get up.

You sound severely depressed. The best advice I can give you is to get back to your GP and be as honest as you can about how you are feeling. If needs be, print out what you have written here.

I have been where you are right now and its a dark and lonely place, but there is a way out of it and the first step is being honest with a health professional about how bad you are feeling.

Hi - sorry to hear you are struggling. Going back to your Gp sounds a good idea. Could you find things to do in school hours that you could look forward to? For support, there may be mental health drop ins - Rethink or Mind run them in some areas. Or perhaps volunteer work, or a walking group - anything that you would like to do. I remember having months of not getting out of bed, and in the end I found some charity work to do 2 afternoons a week and that just gave me the impetus I needed to get up and do. Know it is harder to do that that, but getting up and out can help - especially on those rare sunny days.

Hello. Thankyou for responding. Think i will have to go back to GP. Thought i was getting better as felt ok a few months ago. But recently feeling very flat and down and can't seem to pull out of it.

Hello. Thankyou for responding. Think i will have to go back to GP. Thought i was getting better as felt ok a few months ago. But recently feeling very flat and down and can't seem to pull out of it.

Tell us how you get on after going to the GP ,if you like.
I feel for you.
I used to foster,so understand a little bit about young people who have not got the best of relationships with their parents.