Just can't stop crying

[Callaloo]

I'll be starting a new career this September. I want to keep going in my current job for a couple more months for financial reasons, but I mentally can't do it.

I'm sitting in a churchyard in tears because I can't face going into my office. I have to account every hour of my time to a budget and I'm sitting here thinking what the fuck am I going to put this time on!

I'm so tired of everything. I've just had 9 months of CBT for anxiety and depression, and although I feel a hell of a lot better than this time last year. I just can't cope. I'm a complete bitch to be around- at the moment I'm maliciously ignoring several friends and work colleagues because they're just too nice to me . I feel awful for doing it, but I just can't speak to them- it's a major mental block. I know that I would feel so much better if I extended an olive branch, but I just can't do it.

I've had blood tests for my thyroid and iron levels- but they came back in the 'normal' range- after reading posts on various mn threads I'm going to go back and check they're not borderline though. It really isn't normal for a 20-something to need daily naps, as well as 10 hrs sleep is it?

Is there anyone around to chat? I'm sick of walking down the street in floods of tears; looking like a protagonist from a depressing foreign language film!

hey, i have no magic advise to make it all ok but i just want to let you know you're not alone. i suffered from depression since childhood and it can make you extremely tired, i slept for hours and hours, i remember after crying a lot falling asleep because i was so emotionally drained. i wouldn't attempt to go back to work tbh you wont get anything done if you're in a state anyway. Go home and get some sleep call the doctor tomorrow and get signed off then call work and explain your not coping so well right now. < un-mumsnetty hugs> its going to be ok :)

Oh you poor thing .
Can you ring work and tell them you're suddenly struck down with a tummy bug ?
And then ring your GP for an appointment ?
You must go back to the GP ,explain about crying and how you feel .

CBT just isn't right for some people .It wasn't for me and I just felt worse and a failure .

I've been taking citoplan ( wrong spelling I know ) for about 3 weeks and altho the first week was a bit iffy with side effects ,it did stop me bursting into tears all the time .

Years ago I was on fluxotine ,which again didn't work and left me feeling a failure .

I only mention these things in case you've tried things and feel nothing will help .

Hang on in there .

Thank you both for your support. I've just tried to book a GP appointment and they offered me one in 2 weeks time!! I have to call again first thing tomorrow. I don't what to do about work (I'm still in the churchyard ). I've got to visit another site this afternoon and there's no one to cover me.

I was on Citalopram last year and took Prozac when I had a break down in my late teens. I used to have loads of energy, working all hours etc, but ever since the breakdown, I have waves of tiredness that I just can't fight, as well as constant fatigue.

callaloo so sorry - go down to Gp surgery first thing and wait .
Regarding work ....but if you really were struck down with D & V you couldn't do the afternoon appointment could you ?
And I bet you wish you had D & V instead .

In haste .but let us know how you get on ?

Migraine. If you're in this state you won't be effective (sorry - but I speak from experience!). Ring tomorrow and get an appointment. I can't offer any great advice - I am off work sitting on the sofa in tears myself..! - but if you want empathy and hand holding I can do that

Thank you again ginger and banana. I didn't bother going to work in the morning- I had a little picnic with my packed lunch in the sun and eventually stopped crying . I went straight to the other site in the afternoon. Stupidly I checked my work emails when I got home and have spent the last few hours neurotically catching up on the work I missed this am.

My work ethic was drummed in so hard as I was growing up that I put on a brave face at work and generally function quite well in front of my colleagues. It's just getting myself there that's the problem .

If you'd broken your arm you'd take time off wouldn't you ?
And mental illness is just that ,an illness .

Have you got a GP appt ?

Take care of yourself - no one else will .