self medicating with alcohol

[legohouse]

bad day today,not on any meds but have been in the past,have been managing well without but am self medicating with vodka,i had realised i was getting into a habit so made a concious effort to cut right back.

Today really not good at all,i'm alone with my boys,have coped well all day,been out too but home now and drinking,won't drink lots but i guess this is not right,really wanted to be able to continue without going back to meds and it's so up and down,can be pretty much normal for a long stretch,unpredictable when a low will strike.

Thing is, you place yourself in a very difficult situation, because alcohol is a depressant, so it actually makes you worse even if for a short while once you are drunk you feel numb.

Do you feel that somehow drinking to medicate is more acceptable than taking properly prescribed medication? I would really like you to reconsider that, because if you are on meds you are still fully able to look after your children and yourself, whereas alcohol really takes that ability away.

I don't get drunk though

That does not really matter if you drink to cope it's a problem. And in order for the drink to have the desired effect you per definition drink more than you should.

Try not to get defensive (easily said) I don't drink but I've medicated with food since I was 7 and I think there's bugger all difference between the two.

i'm sorry,i guess i am defensive because i know it's not ideal and i don't want people to think i'm a bad mother.

Some days i don't drink at all,today i have been stuggling with my mood all day,getting lower and lower but continuing on as normal,took kids out to beach,park,shops etc...thoughts tormenting me the whole time,not been good,tried to ride it out as sometimes it lifts but ended up pouring a large vodka and coke.

Maybe going back on meds is the way to go but sometimes i'm fine for a couple of weeks,do i want to feel numb and emotionless which is how i feel on ad's? also my mother is against them and thinks they are unnesesary (sp).

thanks for chatting madmouse,i feel less alone now

lego honestly go and talk to GP about AD - explain that previously you felt numb ( tho I think the numbness comes after you've been taking for a while and the other anxiety/depression feelings have subsided ) .
There might be a med that would suit you better than the one you were on before .
Good luck ,don't feel alone ,you're not .
And boo hiss to your mum's unhelpful comment .

thanks ginger,i don't think my mum means bad,it's just her opinion.

i will consider talking to my GP,can't do any harm can it? thanks for your reply.

The advantage of being an adult is that you do not have to tell your mum that you are taking ADs as it is none of her business. Thus avoiding a debate and her opinion. And to be really honest, if her opinion is that alcohol is better than ADs whatever she says is best disregarded.