My dad is bisexual

[wheniwishuponastar]

He is still with my mum.

I had suspicions a few years ago which I told my bf. we kind of put it to one side. I had a nervous breakdown.
I was then working for my parents who run a business together. I had a realisation about my parents. Told my husband he wanted to confront them about it as they had suggested we all live together. My hub wanted to know the situation before living together.

Two days after we confronted them I went back to work with them and ended up having the worst psychotic episode I've ever had (only had one if it can be called that during my breakdown nine years earlier).

I still have mixed feelings about everything. Just wanted to see other peoples reactions.

My dad had an affair with a younger man for two years.

Could you go for counselling?

Hi gumby I've had counselling for the past nine years. Am seeing someone at the moment though an stopping because it doesn't feel like its doing anything and my new job means I can't afford it. Just wanted to hear other people's reactions because I can't see it that objectively.

Looking at it from where I am standing the fact that he is bisexual isn't particularly relevant. In fact it has nothing to do with you at all, it's his business. The real problem is that he has been unfaithful, which must be a blow to your mother. How is she dealing with it?

Do you still work with them/spend a lot of time with them?

I would get another job if you can, and try to spend less time with them/expect less of them. Infidelity is an issue whoever it's with IMO, but ultimately that's a question for your parents to sort out together. You don't have to be in the middle of it.

How does your mum feel about it?
Does/did she know before they were married?
Any kind of affair is not right, regardless of sexual orientation.
So, it's the fact that your dad is bisexual that bothers you?

Thanks for the responses. The fact hes bisexual is not really the main thing, I just didn't know where to start or what to say. Or where to post. I dont even know if he is bisexual he may just be gay. My hubs mum is gay I get on with her really well. I and my hub have both had fleeting gay experiences. It's more what it means about my parents relationship. Is the whole thing a sham.

I dont work for them anymore. But they did move closer to us and Im supposed to be dog sitting on Tuesday.

Why do u think I should spend less time with them?

I'm an only child. My mum always says they only stayed together for me. No pressure then!

I don't really know what my mum thinks. I think she was annoyed I brought it up.

I dont think she knew before they got together but they got together v quickly.

My mum didn't see why we couldn't all live together once it was all out in the open. She has a mild disability (as does my dad) which I think is partly why she wants everyone close.

Maybe I should have posted this in relationships.

I guess I would have appreciated my dad telling me himself. Children "come out" to their parents so why is it unreasonable for me to expect the same. I would have felt strange if I only found all this out after he had died.

wheniwishuponastar I think you've nailed it on the head there, you wish he'd told you himself and for both your parents to be more honest with you. I think your reaction is entirely expected. It is something about his life and him that he didn't tell you about. It was irrelevant what it was, it was the fact it was kept from you.

Thanks becky glad you understand!
I've told a couple of my friends but not sure if I should or not. Mostly I haven't.

You can ask MN to move it to relationships. Just report your own post.