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Original poster

help- is this an "emergency" need to see the GP?

26 replies

MrsMuddyPuddles · 08/06/2012 08:41

I saw my GP yesterday, told her that the lofepramine I'm on isn't working, she upped the dosage. I didn't fill the script as i'm not convinced that it's the right meds for me, but did a lot of thinking at 4am...

I hadn't gone into details of "not working" being "I feel much worse and more depressed now that i'm on it" plus "I seem to have developed a tendancy to think about plan how to murder that I didn't have before I went on this drug. These murdery feelings last anywhere from hours to days, and I've just had the third one since March when I started on it".

Called the surgery, there are no normal appointments today, just "emergency" ones. I am not going to murder someone today or this weekend (I don't think Hmm Confused ), and if I do start feeling murdery I can take my vallium. Hopefully.

BUT. We are going away for two weeks on Weds, and I'm busy all day Tues so the only chance to see someone (pref my GP but anyone will do) is Monday. Or an emergency appointment today.

So, is this an emergency, or should I just carry on with my current dosage (or even carry on with the planned increased Lofepramine, and see what happens?)

OP posts:
Imnotaslimjim · 08/06/2012 08:44

I would take the emergency appt. While you recognise that you are having these thoughts and its not right to have them, you do need it dealing with sooner rather than later

Hope you get to see someone and enjoy your time away

Chubfuddler · 08/06/2012 08:44

I would think homicidal feelings constituted an emergency, yes. Don't you have a community psych nurse you can contact? If not phone surgery now and say it is an emergency. Or get to A&E.

madmouse · 08/06/2012 09:02

Yes, emergency, take it.

Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 08/06/2012 09:05

Thanks, both of you!

Sorry if I confused everyone, I am not currently feeling homicidal that was yesterday morning

I have called back, and they had a cancellation so I'll see the doctor at 950. I hope I don't get sectioned for this or see dd taken away!

OP posts:
madmouse · 08/06/2012 09:09

No to the section and no to the having taken dd away. You sound in control of your emotions and you have plenty of insight in your condition so no need for either. Hope it goes well.

Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 08/06/2012 10:25

Well, I've been reffered to a hospital, typing from the bus. :( also, based on what I said and what I wrote, gp has to call social services and they have to investigate :( he did say that it isn't urgent with them as he doesn't think DD is in danger, and I do know that ss involvement isn't all doom and gloom but... am freaked out now :(

OP posts:
madmouse · 08/06/2012 10:29

OK I'm a bit surprised by the SS bit. Hopefully they will see there isn't a problem. Hope the hospital is helpful though x.

Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 08/06/2012 10:29

Ps am so glad I took my diazapam before going to see gp, this would have been 10 times harder without that :(

OP posts:
Chubfuddler · 08/06/2012 10:29

It's much much better that you get the support you need. much better. I hope this is just a med induced blip and can be sorted quickly.

Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 08/06/2012 10:35

Madmouse, I can't say everything I'm worried about here. I worry about things that are too wrong to talk about and foolishly mentioned them in a letter. I haven't done anything illegal, but worry that I might :( and since I've told them, in writing no less, they HAVE to take it forward :(

OP posts:
Chubfuddler · 08/06/2012 10:38

It's really good that you have been open about the extent of these intrusive thoughts. It's the only way people can help you.

madmouse · 08/06/2012 10:49

SS is always more worried about what they are not and about people who hide things from them. First you need to get well again yourself now xx

madmouse · 08/06/2012 10:49

sorry 'what they are not told'

Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 08/06/2012 11:28

Thank you. Am in the waiting room now.

madmouse do you mean that we might not hear from ss until I'm closer to better?

Meanwhile, I've realized that maybe I could move out for a bit, if ss thinks I shouldn't be around my DD... if it even comes to that.

OP posts:
madmouse · 08/06/2012 11:43

No I mean that the first priority now is for you to get well, regardless of what SS does or doesn't do. Because only when you're better can you fully and without worry (your own worry mainly) take care of DD.

Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 08/06/2012 17:12

back home again (and had a nap). The MH assessment nurse I saw has referred me back to the GP with the recommendation that I change ADs, probably to something that starts with an "M". I'm to go in on Mon to get the new prescription, and meanwhile start tapering down on the Lofepramine.

I don't have a CPN, and asked about that, but he said that I was already doing most of the things a CPN would encourage and anyway there would be a 15 week waiting list. So not bothering with that, then, but sticking to GP care/waiting for councelling/looking for the right ADs. Switching to a Pyschologist would also be an option, but i would prob just get similar care as seeing the GP. (or something. I was pretty tired and worn out by the time we'd gone over everything. It is a relief to have my darkest thoughts and secrets out there finally, however!)

He also said several times that I "clearly are distressed" but that was "doing better than you're giving yourself credit for". I left feeling a bit like he was trying to say, in the nicest way possible, that it's all in my head and that I'm just depressed, not crazy. Confused

OP posts:
madmouse · 08/06/2012 17:42

Sounds like he meant mirtazapine?

He sounds nice tbh and encouraging - he was indeed telling you that you are not crazy Smile

Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 08/06/2012 21:57

:) Thanks, madmouse. I think you're right.

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Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 11/06/2012 09:42

Seeing the GP this afternoon, "my" GP even, rather than a random one from the surgery :o

...not really looking forward to the conversation Confused

OP posts:
madmouse · 11/06/2012 10:22

Hold you head up high. You are unwell and are taking all responsible steps to ensure your own welfare and that of your children - nothing to be ashamed of xx

Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 11/06/2012 10:30

Yeah, just wish I hadn't frozen at my Thursday ap... if I had been able to say "no I want different drugs please " then a lot of this would have been avoided Blush :(

OP posts:
madmouse · 11/06/2012 10:47

Don't you DARE beat yourself up. This is quite hard enough all by yourself. I'm a lawyer and quite capable with my big gob but when I was ill I had to take my dh with me or I would have done a runner instead of being diagnosed with PTSD and getting help.

Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 11/06/2012 12:57

Thank you :)

I've now gone back to beating myself up over finally letting my darkest thoughts out so that they can be helped/sorted/figured out and put to rest opening my gob to the other GP and the nurse and what the repricusions might be for having done this... how do I stop beating myself over this? Confused don't say vallium

On a related note, I'm stuck on the first "Straight Talking to Unwarp Thinking" worksheet from moodgym... does anyone have any advice there?

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 11/06/2012 13:25

... to answer my own question: the trick seems to be to just get bored with the worrying about stuff that hasn't happened yet, and go do something else gardening in this case

OP posts:
madmouse · 12/06/2012 17:08

Hi MuddyPuddles how did you get on yesterday?