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Original poster

Need some support- feeling depressed and scared...

45 replies

HereInMyHead · 07/06/2012 08:00

Hi. Just need some support and advice. Moved into a new house on saturday after two years of housing insecurity and I'm feeling depressed. Been awake since 4 am. Son away til teatime and I'm worried that I won't be able to look after him when he comes back... Can't type much as on phone and it's difficult to type. Thanks

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Original poster
HereInMyHead · 07/06/2012 08:11

Appetite gone through the roof and smoking again after giving up for two years.Feel like I've made a massive mistake moving here and am looking for ways to get out of the contract already! Son not settling either which isn't helping...

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Bluestocking · 07/06/2012 08:13

Hang on in there. Tell us more about your situation - are you now in a new area? Is your son at a new school? Do you have any family or friends where you are now? Tell us one nice thing about your new house - try and get your mind in a more positive place.

Original poster
HereInMyHead · 07/06/2012 08:24

Hi. Thanks for replying. No, not in a new area, son still at same school. Just moved down the road really. Loved my other house but it was only temporary and house was sold. This place is long term which is good (I think). I have friends here but no family in the area. Depression has come as a big shock to my system. I had severe postnatal depression sned am petrified of going back there. I quite like my bedroom I suppose...

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Original poster
HereInMyHead · 07/06/2012 08:25

I am considering going to docs for prozac, but I find it difficult to gerty on to as it increases my appetite to gargantuan proportions...

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Bluestocking · 07/06/2012 09:56

Sorry not to get back to you, am now in the office but don't want to leave you hanging! If you think you need ADs, and Prozac doesn't suit you, there are lots of other options - your GP will be able to talk to you about alternatives. A permanent house sounds like a blessing and I'm glad you like your bedroom! Why is your son finding it hard to settle, do you think?

Original poster
HereInMyHead · 07/06/2012 10:08

He's not settling because I'm not settled, I suppose. I can't take citalapram as I'm allergic. It's annoying as I've had two years of housing uncertainty and now that I have a long term let, I don't like it! Think the stress of everything has finally got on top of me.I have a counselling session later (regular, long term thing), so I'm hoping that'll be useful. Really annoyed as I have been feeling positive and was initially relieved when I found this place.Thanks for replying.

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amillionyears · 07/06/2012 14:02

Being in a new house for only 5 days is bound to be unsettling.
I think you need to give it all more time,before coming to any conclusions.
Also,your son may be feeling unsettled for the same reason.He may well be better when you feel better,so I wouldnt worry about him for now in that way.
What nice thing can you do for yourself,right now,while you have a bit of time on your hands?
There is another thread in this same section,about another lady who has moved and is also not settled , which you may find helpful.

MrsMuddyPuddles · 07/06/2012 17:56

Is it possible that your body/mind is saying "now that I have something settled I can relax and have the freak-outs I didn't let myself have over the past two years because I was busy getting on with it" which is what my mind/body does all the time

What is "wrong" with this new place? Have you put up pictures to make it "yours" yet?

Original poster
HereInMyHead · 07/06/2012 18:19

That is a possibility too. Have been to see my counsellor and have established that I'm grieving for my old home. It's still really tough going but feels better to have identified it.

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amillionyears · 07/06/2012 18:23

Wow,Good .Glad it proved helpful and useful.

Bluestocking · 08/06/2012 07:54

How are you feeling this morning? Muddy makes a good point about subconsciously allowing yourself to have a freakout when everything is settled, which you can't do while everything is still up in the air. Grieving for your old home sounds legitimate and maybe your son is doing the same thing. How old is he?

Gymbob · 08/06/2012 08:06

I know how you feel grieving for your old home. I grieved for mine when we moved - I loved my old house and didn't want to move but had to for financial reasons. All I can say is it does get better - I no longer miss my old home, and love the one we live in now - but I do expect I would grieve again if and when we move.

Hope you are feeling a bit better this morning, and you had a nice time with your son last night.

Original poster
HereInMyHead · 08/06/2012 08:24

Hi everybody. Had a pretty rough night, but did at least manage to get some sleep. Finding it pretty tough going this morning, both harder and easier having my son back. I've told him I feel really sad about leaving the other house. He says that he misses the pink house which is the one before last! He's four btw

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Original poster
HereInMyHead · 08/06/2012 08:42

We'd only been there for four months, but it was a sanctuary. Had to get out of previous house, so moving there was a blessing. Lovely house, lovely neighbours, lovely landlords. But the house was sold so had to leave...

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Original poster
HereInMyHead · 10/06/2012 07:25

Anybody around this morning. Struggling with this depression. Am trying to be positive tho!

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amillionyears · 10/06/2012 08:49

Im here.I may be of limited use,but I am here.

MrsMuddyPuddles · 10/06/2012 09:24

Just saw this... what do you need? I'm around until DD gets bored with youtube

Original poster
HereInMyHead · 10/06/2012 10:28

Thanks for replying. Finding it hard going today. Need to ask my son's father to have him some more but don't think it'd go down too well. Don't think.he understands

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Original poster
HereInMyHead · 10/06/2012 10:29

Smoking like a chimney and finding it hard to eat

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amillionyears · 10/06/2012 10:39

Dont worry about the eating too much.Just maybe a little bit for strength.A cup of tea,and a slice of toast?
The smoking,you gave it up for two years,that is a massive deal.You can do it again too sometime in the future,so dont worry about that.
Depression,sound weird but raw or maybe cooked cabbage can help some people.Are you going to see the GP about getting some help with it?
What is it you dont like about your new house.Perhaps it would help to list it here?Maybe not.Up to you.

Original poster
HereInMyHead · 10/06/2012 11:15

Hi. Don't think it's the new house so much as the loss of the old one. Was very happy there, but.couldn't stay...

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MrsMuddyPuddles · 10/06/2012 11:53

You won't know how he will react until you ask tell him, you just know how you think he will act I am guilty of thinking words into people's mouths and reacting to "the stories I tell myself" rather than to what the people actually say. Maybe have a chat on the Relationships board to get your courage up? I suspect people there will have more experience in getting exes to pull their weight than I do... :)

Is there anything you can do to make this house more like the old one? Maybe invite one or two of the old neighbours around for a cuppa tea this afternoon?

Original poster
HereInMyHead · 10/06/2012 12:25

Hi. He says he can have him for a couple of hours tomorrow. We don't have a conventional relationship. He donated sperm x

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MrsMuddyPuddles · 10/06/2012 12:57

oh I see, sorry to have assumed! That's good about tomorrow, yes?

How are you feeling about the new house?

Original poster
HereInMyHead · 10/06/2012 13:05

The new house is fine, it's just that it's not the old house! Think it's a culmination of lots of stress and upheaval.... Really hard going at the moment...

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