Please help. I don't know if I can do this anymore.

[Whatsounddoesagiraffemake]

Please excuse the muddle, I feel like I'm in a fog.

My DD (21 months) has never slept well and having had every HV round to thrust the latest sleep routine into my hand we still have had no success. We did all of the faithfully and to the letter and they all failed. Kiss and retrat, the disappearing chair, controlled crying. You name it, we've tried it. Anyway, that's not the main point of this post. It's more how it's affecting me.

I'm 18 weeks pregnant with DC2 and am feeling wretched. So wretched that I went to the doctors a month ago in tears because I hadn't slept, DH was sleeping on the sofa and DD was an overtired monster all the time. She prescribed antihistamines to help DD sleep and although wary I was desperate so I gave it ago. It was a miracle. She slept, I slept, DH slept and for the first time in 20 months I enjoyed being a mummy. DH and I were having such a lovely time. We were a couple again. Then, 3 nights ago the anitihistanines seemed to stop working and I have been in tears ever since. I can't sleep, I've lost my confidence and I'm completly at my wits end. I'm shocked at how this has affected me and I feel completly out if control. DH doesn't know what to say or do so he's shut himself away. My DM lives abroad and I don't think MIL will understand.

My question is, if I was to see my doctor again would she tell me to pull myself together and that motherhood is hard or is she likely to tell me I have some form of prenatal depression? Last time I felt like this was after DD was born and it lasted until after her first birthday. Then I brushed every episode under the carpet and told myself it was mind over matter until occasionally everything blew up.

Please tell me whether this is the reason I feel so helpless and useless or if it's because I'm just not very good at this motherhood malarky.

Sweetheart, it certainly does not mean you are not a good mother - please try to get that out of your head.

Have you ever tried hynosis cd. I had a very good one purchased on Amazon, by Glen Harrold for insomnia. Maybe you could treat yourself to it.

It certainly helps me when I get occasional bouts of sleeplessness. I think worrying about it just makes it seem more insurmountable.

I do sympathise. I never really did get a good nights sleep until my son started primary school and even then he was trying to get into my bed (single parent) it was not easy.

He is 25 now and I can't get him out of bed. Me on the other hand awake a six every morning now! darn it.

Please go back to the gp,I would sugggest the same one as before .
He/she sounded helpful last time,give it a go.

I could have written your post almost word for word a couple of years ago. DD1 was a terrible sleeper - it didn't make any difference what we did with her. Looking back, I was also suffering with PND, but thought it was just me being a 'bad' mummy.

When I was pregnant with DD2 I was absolutely terrified of going back to that place. DD1's sleeping was still terrible at that point. I'm pretty sure I was depressed at that point, too. I think all of that fear greatly conttributed to the hellish PND I suffered after having DD2. I truly believe that, if I had got help before she was born, it would not have been as bad.

Please, please, please go back to your GP and tell him/her everything you have put down here. I never did that, but I wish I had. Just having someone tell me that it's 'normal'/OK to feel that way would have made a huge difference.

There's a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture--it's absolutely awful. When it's combined with depression...well, I can't find the words to describe how bad it feels.