low self-esteem

[mistressmiggins]

I am just feeling so low and cant get out of the rut Im in

ex-H isnt helping - this weekend he told me he needed his CV - I was so upset - Id asked him lots of times to change jobs & work nearer to home, but he wouldnt and ended up having an affair

then he told me that he couldnt come home cos I was so aggressive

I was doing ok-ish but now back to feeling that the breakdown of our marriage is MY fault

I feel ugly, am binge eating at night and hate myself....

I knwo this is a whinge - what can I do to boost my self-esteem?
I cant exercise at gym as noone to look after kids

the conversation/attitude of your ex-H reminds me of the quote "people call me a bitch when I express any sentiment that differentiates me from a doormat". If you had had the affair, I imagine your DH would be expecting self-flagellation and walking over hot coals from you, and wouldn't accept any suggestion he was to blame for the affair.

In terms of the binge-eating - don't buy junk food for the house. You have a lot of healing to do inside; so I wouldn't make weight/diet a priority atm. In terms of exercise - when the weather is a little nicer of an evening, just going for walks in the park with the kids will be a start. Otherwise exercise DVD? or get a cheap exercise bike?

I dont have "bad food" in the house but end up eating loads - carrots & avocados etc
its more the fact that I realise Im eating cos so fed up

H seems to be so oblivious to the hurt hes caused...had an email from him again tonight telling me that his CV didnt get to him & could I email it again? also wants me to go to drs for his prescription & post it to him