Please help - Long-term professional help for depression - changing life and behaviour

[skrullandcrossbones]

Someone very close to me - let's call him John - has had severe depression since early teens (he's now in his mid 30s).

It goes in waves - when it's really bad he is very anxious, insomniac, only able to function (in terms of getting up and getting on with life) with family help. He is very 'high functioning' though - manages to keep going with work etc. But feels very isolated, sense of failure about himself.

But he has constant 'low mood'. He says he never feels any sense of enjoyment, excitement, enthusiasm, never looks forward to anything. The only thing that gives him any sense of well-being, perversely, is near-death experiences (not self-inflicted - a minor road accident, an encounter with a dangerous person) - afterwards he had a short-lived rush of joyous well-being which then disappeared.

He has seen psychiatrists and had a short-ish course of CBT counselling. He is on anti-depressants which help with sleep, but don't (he says) have much other effect. He knows everything about CBT etc. and he follows all the obvious guidelines (lots of exercise/fresh air/eating well/regular sleep times etc.)

He is desperate to change things - most of all, I think, he simply wants to be able to feel happy, feel pleasure, enjoy things. He is a fantastic person who has achieved a lot and has had a very interesting and varied life. Yet he feels like none of this is true.

I wonder if there is any professional help out there that can provide some sort of long-term support to help him change this.

Does anyone know of anything? Many thanks for any help or advice.

bump for morning people...

Sounds like maybe he should try psychotherapy or psychodynamic therapy to dig into the causes of this depression, assuming there are causes - some people seem to have depression caused by a chemical inbalance. But the thrills he gets out of near death experiences indicate something may be there. Although it could be adrenaline.

Which makes me think - have his hormone levels been checked? He could have exceptionalyl low testosterone levels.

Thank you so much for replying, madmouse. That's interesting, I thought it might be adrenaline too, giving him a bit of a kickstart.

I will look up psychotherapy/psychodynamic therapy - do you have any ideas on how to find a good practitioner? Cost is not an issue (within reason).

He doesn't want to spend endless time reflecting on the 'why' - he feels he wants to change. But I can see that understanding 'why' might be a step in that process - but I think he would need a type of therapy where it is clearly a step, and you don't just go round in a loop of discussion forever.

Hormone levels are a good idea. He has had some blood tests, but I am not sure exactly what. I will follow up.

BCAP

Just been looking at their website. Yes, I think psychotherapy is the way to go. It is hard, though, isn't it, just looking at names and brief descriptions of therapists, to tell who will suit a particular individual. He is in London, so quite a wide choice.

Really appreciate your help.

Also consider counselling directory website! All people on their have to prove qualifications, professional membership and insurance! Will give you a wider choice.

Counselling definatley the way to go
Good luck

That looks like a good resource, thank you cupcake.

It would be so great to find something that truly makes a difference.

He could try the Hoffman process. It's v effective and good fun.

oh, i will google that now...

The Hoffman Process looks intriguing, wheniwishuponastar. Do you mind i I ask if you have done it yourself? Are the effects longlasting?

Hmm looks very much like another residential scam I saw advertised on here recently. I would be very wary. The claims are too good to be true and would not be made by any mental health professional. And though the link says 'prices and availability' the price is not mentioned, just that it varies slightly from country to country...

Oh dear, madmouse, I was just getting very hopeful about it.

The price seems to be about £2,200 for the 8 day course. Oliver James endorses it, and I was impressed by his book.

I'm sure it may be a decent motivational training thingie. That's not the same as treatment for a mental health problem.

But anyway I'm no expert and if he likes it and you have the money then maybe try it.

Although this worries me a little. There seems to be a presumption that it is all caused by our parents and that we need to work through anger for that. Whereas often problems do start in childhood, this kind of presumption and one size fits all approach deserves some caution.

Yes I did do it and can recOmmend it. You can ring up and talk through any doubts you might have about it.

I am going to suggest he goes (with someone) to one of the information evenings and has a look. He's quite a sceptical sort of person so would be quite careful about whether or not to get involved.

WhenIwish - do you think Hoffman was too fixated on parents as cause? did it allow for other reasons too?

It's handled very sensitively and intelligently. You are given tools to deal with lots of things. Parents aren't seem as the cause but somewhere we might have picked up bad habits and patterns. The info evening is a good place to start. It's a really good thing to experience.

Sensitive and intelligent sounds good. I think long-term therapy will def be required, but Hoffman could be a good kick-start to the whole process. He really needs to feel that he is doing something to change his life. Thank you so much for info.