Severe anxiety......all advice welcome x

[Spongeroberta]

Ok......quick summary....

My son is nearly 6. After having no contact, his Dad came back in his life about 3/4 mths ago. went very well, then I started worrying incredibly.

I was contacting him very much, about stuff about my son and being very repetitive. Was overwhelming and made me anxious and emotional to a point I could not cope with daily life.

I placed my son in foster care and he has been there for 2 months. They are a lovely family who he spent some time with when I had severe PND years ago.

During the time he's been there, I've seen him regularly apart from a few occasions where I've been too anxious. Building up to having him weekends and hoping he'll be back by July time.

His Dad and I get on well..mostly. We got to where the tension is gone. However, last wk, I accused him of stealing money from me, which I KNOW he wouldn't do, but my irrational thoughts made me ask him. I have since strongly felt the urge to message him about the same thing many times, but I know I need to get over that.

I tried a return to work shift today ( I am a healthcare assistant) but only managed an hour and a half before I was in tears. The ward sister sent me home and was really rude with me. Myself and this woman have had several clashes over the years, the main problem being that she also lives 4 doors up from me. Although I have stated in an e-mail to my manager how I feel about this woman, I have still ended up popping a letter through her door apologising as I am a person who is terrified of tension. When she returned home from work about half an hour ago, I went up and knocked on her door again to apologise for the letter.......she didn't answer.

I have a care coordinator and will be seeing a psychiatrist soon, also on waiting list for lots of therapies.

My overwhelming issue is worry/panic/anxiety and paranoia.

What I would be VERY VERY grateful for is any words of advice people can give me, even just to read and comment would be great.

Anyone been through similar, what helped?

Really appreciate anyone who reads this, thank you xxxx

Thanks for replying. The person who's door I knocked on was the Ward Sister, not my manager, but I still shouldn't have done it, I know that now

Anxiety is an evil, horrible thing and I hate it

I want to be able to move past my urges to act in an irrational manner and move past these compulsions to act in a manner that will have disastrous consequences. My GP and Care-Coorfinator say I have good insight, but it's stopping myself from acting on it that's the hard thing

Thanks for reading

Hi spongeroberta

Are you taking any medication? I found beta blockers helpful for anxiety, I'm also on a anti -d which is prescribed for general anxiety disorder.

It must be very hard to have your ds in foster care.

I tried cbt (therapy) but ultimately it was the meds that really helped. My anxiety doesn't sound anywhere near as bad as yours is, but it built up for many years and I eventually had a breakdown.

It's really good that you have the insight to seek help, wishing you well x

Thank you.
I'm waiting to see a psychiatrist on June 11th to hopefully be prescribed something for anxiety, so fingers crossed.

It's quite debilitating living with it and I miss my son like crazy, but I have quite regular contact and they're letting me have overnights again now, which is brilliant

Long road ahead, but just wanted a bit of encouragement and support from others, so thanks for answering.

Xx