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Neighbours scolding my children (one of them mentally ill)

2 replies

snmom · 29/05/2012 09:58

DS1 (18yrs) is diagnosed as schizoaffective and on and off the hospital for last 3 years. Before a relapse ds1 looses sleep starts breaking things in the house and laughing/screaming/talking... this is hard for us and for those those around us. However, the process of assesment, sectioning and hospitalization usually takes time. I took him to A&E 2 weeks before the full blown relapse and after 3-4 hours of waiting the psychiatric nurse told me that he is still in capacity and not sectionable. I argues about the behaviour and the nurse just asked me to contact police (which i found very annoying)... I know in extreme cases that is my only option and I have used it a few times. Las week DS was finally admitted. 3 days after admission ds showed great signs of improvement , calmed down completely so the doc did a weeks leave with the home treatment follow up to see how things go. For 2 days he was calm and then third night was disturbing...informed the home treatment team and they asked to bring him back to the ward which he refused so had to go through the police process again.
This morning we had a water pipe leakage in our house and called the contractors to fix it. Meanwhile, DD1 was disturbed from her sleep and panicked that there will be a flood in the house and started crying. This morning the neighbour knocked on my door and complained that it is unacceptable for children to cry at 5.00 am in the morning and she has to do lot of overtime at work and she needs her sleep. Also, a few days ago DS was very noisy and they couldn't sleep. I said to her that I completely agree with her and even me and their dad is feeling sleep deprived and would not want it to happen. We are doing to everything in our capacity to prevent it.
Then she started scolding my 7 yr old dd saying u can't just do it ... u are not a baby... u need to read a book or play to calm you down etc etc..
Last time she scolded by DS(in last episode) saying the same things.
I completely sympathise with her and understand her trouble and I do think she is a good and reasonable woman.
The unpredictability of the illness makes it very hard to plan anything and the type of houses we live (not apartments ... modern cottages) any sound is transferred very easily. The walls are very thin and the floors are laminated (carpets probably absorb some sound)... even when the neighbours walk in their house we can hear the footsteps loud and clear and vice versa.
Have any of you caring for mentally ill children been in this situation ? How did you handle it ?

(sorry, my choice of words may not be very appropriate...2 weeks of sleeplessness is taking it's toll).

OP posts:
ReallyTired · 29/05/2012 23:27

It must be avery difficult for all of you. Your family must be at crisis point. I have no suggestion except to hope for your son's recovery from this particular episode.
.

FrothyOM · 01/06/2012 07:21

Do you think some sort of supported housing would be helpful for your son?

I know someone who lived in a flat but there were staff available in the block to support him. The whole block was purely for adults with mental health problems. Adult social services or his CPN should be able to advise you what options there are in your area.

I am guessing you are finding it hard explain to her what is really going on due to the stigma attached to the illness. Sad

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