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Mental health

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Original poster

Struggling again

8 replies

Ikeatears · 28/05/2012 23:53

I am struggling. I am feeling on a downward spiral again. I have been fine for a couple of months but I feel sad and anxious. I am scared that I may get lost again. I don't want to go through this again...

OP posts:

Original poster

Ikeatears · 29/05/2012 11:59

Has counselling made it worse for anyone? I am struggling to cope with how it makes me feel. I don't think I've the energy to go through with it.

OP posts:

marykat2004 · 29/05/2012 12:06

Yes and yes, I know how you feel. I too am on a downward spiral and feel helpless to control it. But I can't offer advice.... Is it the first time you've ha counselling? It will get harder before it gets better. But with a good counsellor you can get better.

madmouse · 29/05/2012 12:28

Counselling often makes you feel worse before things get better - be it CBT or more traditional talking therapy. Because you're opening up and confronting things. Hang in there, get as much rest as you can and persevere, it is worth it.

If you don't have the energy do your best to drop other things that take energy instead.

Original poster

Ikeatears · 29/05/2012 12:59

It is cbt, I wasn't convinced it was for me really and I'm still not but I'm trying to persevere. I can talk about things that happened in the past and although it is painful sometimes, it seems to help. With this cbt, I need to confront my own behaviour and thought patterns and I find it incredibly difficult. I feel a bit like I am being blamed for the way I feel about past issues and how they affect me. The counsellor is lovely but I'm not convinced this is for me but maybe that is part of the problem - maybe I'm not wiling to accept that I need to look at myself and change the ways I do things.
I feel so low these last couple of days, I am letting everyone down yet again.

OP posts:

Original poster

Ikeatears · 29/05/2012 17:45

It is definitely getting worse, I put the baby to bed and went to sleep this afternoon, I feel so anxious and tearful, just spoke to DH who was due home at 5.30 amd he hasn't even left work yet - I felt sick that he wasn't on his way. It is ridiculous and irrational but I can't help it. I can't go through this again.

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marykat2004 · 29/05/2012 22:20

CBT is hard work, it takes a lot of effort but it's really worth the effort when it clicks in. Keep at it. And try different books? I had a course with a counsellor and a self help CBT course, then got lazy about it and very low and discovered a book in the library that helped. It is called 'beat stress with CBT'. It's for office workers mainly which is odd because I don't even have a job at the moment but I found a lot of common sense in that book. Lots of techniques I could even apply to arguements with my mother.

But if you are just starting you will feel a bit crap at first. Hang in there.

How old is your baby? Might you have PND?

Original poster

Ikeatears · 30/05/2012 00:27

The baby is 18 months, I don't have PND, this started late last year. I thought things were getting better. I am so tired and my head hurts.

OP posts:

NanaNina · 30/05/2012 10:33

The trouble is Ikeatears is that depression and anxiety often improves for some time (like you say you have been fine for 2 months) and then it comes back and hits you when u aren't looking. This has been happening to me for the past 2 years since a major episode. I was fine for the first 3 months of this year and in April and May I have had many bad days and it is all so demoralising isn't it.

Do you know if there are any triggers for the downturn. People are always asking me that and don't seem to believe me when I say there are none that I know of . Are you on ADs or connected to the MH service in your area.

You say this started last year and your child is 18 mths, so why are you so sure it isn't PND - did you have any mental health problems before the baby arrived. Recovery from depression isn't linear for some people - can be three steps forward and 2 steps back. Have you anyone in RL who can support you through this lapse. I know how horrible it is - it's bad enough having this awful illness without it coming back to torment us again. However the younger you are the more likely you are to fully recover I think.

Don't know about CBT - it is all very rational when I am well but not so easy to follow when I am having bad days, which seem to come out of the blue.

Take care and don't scare yourself with thinking this will never go away.

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