Advice please, suicidal DD. her DH is away on tour (army)

[Downnotout]

Was going to post in forces sweethearts but seems very quiet on there.

DD has been admitted to a mental health unit after taking an overdose. Her DH is on his first tour away and she is not coping.

We are not on good terms with DD after numerous issues over the last couple of years. She has been in army accommodation for 3 months so doesn't have many friends. We and his family are a long way from where she is.

I don't think it was a serious attempt to take her life but it was a cry for help. She thought they would send her DH home. I have spoken to him and he is aware of the situation, but at the end of the day, this is his job, it's what he's been trained for and he doesn't need news like this from home.

I don't know what to do. Estranged or not, I am her mother and feel I need to be supportive, at the same time she has pulled so many stunts and been so manipulative in the past that I am unwilling to respond to dramatic gestures, (if that's what this is.)

Does anyone know what the form is with forces wives in this situation. Should I try and speak to a welfare officer ( what are they called?) how do I contact someone? I am in touch with the hospital unit she is in, and am speaking to DD on the phone but that's as far as I've got so far.

Sort of bumping this as you havent had a reply.
Sorry about what is happening.Have you posted on here before about your DD,or am I thinking of someone else.
And dont know anything about forces wives.
Would the hospital know anything about army procedures?
Hope you get some answers soon.

I would post on Forces Sweethearts as well.

I hope you get some help. x

Downnotout. I'm sorry this has happened, but I think a lot of people were expecting it .

If you are willing to PM me with his unit and area I will be able to get you contact details for his UWO. He will be able to advise and get your daughter in touch with the relevant agencies in her area.

Hopefully the welfare officer is already aware of your daughter's problems and will be able to help you. Eve's suggestion is a very good one and it might help put your mind a little at rest, if you know what is being done to help her.

Yes it's probably me you're all thinking of.

Not sure whether I'm pleased or not that people remember. :(

It is no surprise that this has happened and you will understand my reticence in not rushing down there to be at her side. I don't know if it's more attention seeking but I do know she needs help and I am trying to be supportive without "rewarding" her behaviour. God that sounds so harsh but I just don't know what to do anymore.

I don't think anybody takes an overdose unless they're miserable, so even peopl who are considered manipulative are asking for help

I think what you are doing is probably correct.
And you are who I am thinking of.
Does she have a diagnosed medical condition that means she acts in these ways.
I think what I am trying to say is, is she in a medical condition that she cannot get out of iyswim.That she cannot control.
This may not be the time for me to ask these questions,as you may have more immediate things to be doing.
Sending you

I know that mirry2.

She is miserable, alone and desperate for someone to remove this anguish. I have not turned my back on her but our relationship has been pushed to breaking point and there are others in the family who have been affected by her actions who I have a responsibility to protect from this. So it is difficult.

If it were as simple as bringing her home, I would. But I would be removing her from the system she is now in, which won't help at the moment. I am in touch with her key worker at the mental health unit she is in and they want to keep her there for now. Sadly she was threatened by a seriously disturbed patient there, which hasn't helped.

Yes, i don't know the background to all this but if it's impossible to bring her home and for you to go and see her, maybe you could make sure she knows you care by sending her cards and the odd token pressie (like a packet of biscuits or bar of chocolate). You are probably doing this anyway.

She has no medical diagnosis, although it has been clear for sometime that there are issues. it took a long time for me to understand that they weren't just average teenage issues, but something more than that.

I think that I knew it would have to come to something like this, for her to get help. I'm sure she cannot control herself when she does these things, it's as if she cannot see beyond the moment and does not understand consequences. There has been a lot gone on since the wedding, which I have not talked about on here. One minute we can have a reasonable conversation, the next she is shouting and swearing at me.

Right now the most I can do is ensure she gets the help that is available to her and let her know that we are here for her, albeit at a distance.

Down, I've replied and given you some contact details.

TBH the unit she is in is probably the best place for her at the moment - but it could be worth asking the UWO if there is a military CPN that could speak to her. There is a line she needs to be aware of regarding her mental health and the availability of her husband. She cannot do something like this and assume that he will be sent straight home - a Mil CPN may be able to get this through to her, whereas a Civ CPN may not understand that he can't be bought straight back.

Have replied.

Thanks so much.