really need help-feel distraight

[ariane5]

Not sure what is wrong with me,I had 4(h baby 5wks ago but don't think its pnd.I can't stop crying and hating myself I feel useless and stupid and ugly.iam in pain with hip pain (I have ehlers danlos syndrome)and that's not helping.have cried all day and I feel drained.my children deserve btter than me I don't know how to drag myslf out of this I feel horrendous.

Was meant to say distraught-hard to type on phone

Have you got a friend or family member you can call? Just hearing a friendly voice might help. I can't offer much that's more concrete but didn't want you to go unanswered.

It very much sounds like PND and you really need to speak to your doctor or HV very soon. If you start getting thoughts of hurting yourself you need to call Out of Hours. Is the E-D stopping you sleeping? Are you normally on pain meds that you had to stop due to preg/bf?

Your children need and want you and no one else. The deserving better talk is illness talking.

poor you. You must be exhausted . Life with a small baby is tough.
How old are the others? Old enough to help?
Are you managing to get some sleep?
Who is there for you in RL?
Congratulations on the wee one. Lower your expectations and do the minimum you can to get by and put you and the baby first
Good luck x

Pain has only been such a big issue since the birth (4th cs) prior to that I had odd aches and pains but nothing too bad, this hip and pelvic pain is distracting and making me feel rubbish.had a tough birth and ds was in int care for 8 days and I really truly believed he would die I was beside myself-obviously he was ok but now I just feel in the last few days that I've been hit by a wall of self loathing,unhappiness,feeling useless and worthless and I can't control the crying.dp just looks bewildered my mum and sister have their own issues so I can't burden them and I wouldn't expect much sympathy they have a 'pull yourself out of it ' attitude when it comes to things like this.I feel like I just don't want to be me anymore I didn't think it could be pnd as have no problems with ds or the other dcs its just me-i don't like myself and I don't feel right.

Pain has only been such a big issue since the birth (4th cs) prior to that I had odd aches and pains but nothing too bad, this hip and pelvic pain is distracting and making me feel rubbish.had a tough birth and ds was in int care for 8 days and I really truly believed he would die I was beside myself-obviously he was ok but now I just feel in the last few days that I've been hit by a wall of self loathing,unhappiness,feeling useless and worthless and I can't control the crying.dp just looks bewildered my mum and sister have their own issues so I can't burden them and I wouldn't expect much sympathy they have a 'pull yourself out of it ' attitude when it comes to things like this.I feel like I just don't want to be me anymore I didn't think it could be pnd as have no problems with ds or the other dcs its just me-i don't like myself and I don't feel right.

Oh my, NICU as well. That is a very traumatic place, no wonder that you are struggling. My ds was in NICU for a week, where they saved his life and diagnosed brain damage and then another two weeks in SCBU. I needed counselling to come to terms.

What is your health visor /gp like, could you cry on one of their shoulders? Certainly, if you could get some pain mess from the gp to sort your hip out, you'll do better. I'm not going to diagnose you over the internet not qualified to either! but all depressions have a "two week " clause because it's perfectly normal to be upset and down after life events, it's just if things get you down fir more than 2 weeks that help might be needed. You've been through a lot so it shouldn't be a surprise that you need to process it.

I'd suggest making a double apt with your gp to get the hip pain sorted and to unburden yourself a bit, and so these feelings can be watched and, if needed, you can get help promptly instead of after months and months of suffering, which is what I tend to do

Meds not mess!

It sounds like you're really going through it, and I totally sympathise. It's so important for you to seek help, get to your docs so they can put you in touch with a team of people who can help you, I did! Have you tried Mood Gym the online cognitive therapy course, it's worthwhile & I've been using it in the last 5 weeks. Cliche as this sounds, the longer you leave this the harder it will get for you. Good luck.