Feel like such a failure :(

[IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012]

Like the title says really :(

I just feel like I have failed everyone. I am single (again) I feel like I will never meet anyone else that I will love like I do my ex, but I know he isn't good for me.

I feel like I've let the children down, the house is a mess, I lose my temper with them, we never have any money. they deserve better.

I find it so hard admitting this, even anonomously online :(

We always tend to focus on our shortcomings rather than the things we do well. I bet your children love you lots. Have you got anybody close that you can confide in?? Big hug

Thanks. Yea my boys are my world, and say they love me all the time! I have got a friend I could tell, but she is having the pregnancy from hell, and I don't want to burden her :(

I think I have to bite the bullet, go back to the GP and ask to go back on the citalopram, which I didn't really want to do, as I've been off it over a year.

Sorry you are feeling like this. What makes you feel you have failed everyone?
Do you feel like you need to be with someone to be happy?
Do get your help if you need to. No harm in citalopram if that's what you need. Has the GP suggested anything else, eg CBT?

Me and the boys Dad have recently split up again, having given things another go for 7 months. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone, but we want different things, and he drags me down mood wise. My brothers are both getting married, one this year, and one next, yet I'm single, and convinced he has met someone else, but is blaming me for the break up which is what he did last time. We have decided we are going to stay friends, but I don't know how I will when I love his so much.

My children deserve a nice clean and tidy house, yet I can't even manage that for them :(

I know there is nowt wrong the cit, I just didn't want to go back on it really, but I will if I need to. I have had counselling, but it doesn't help as we only get 6 weeks free here, and it takes me longer than that to trust anyone, and I can't afford to go private. I asked the GP about CBT and she said they don't do that here! I guess I should look into it, but it feels like so much effort :(

Sounds like it's a difficult time for you right now. Be kind to yourself. You have just suffered the loss of your relationship, so it is understandable to be feeling awful. And go and see your GP if you need to. One thing I am sure of your children don't care about having a clean tidy house .

Unfortunately little NHS funding for CBT these days but excellent online CBT available via Moodgym and beatingtheblues. I think they're free & you can find them via google.
You are grieving for a lost relationship so try not to be too hard on yourself. If CBT and 6 or 12 months of citalopram is what you need then that's ok. Most people have an episode of low mood at some point in life usually as a reaction to a difficult life event. Hugs.

Thanks. I will get there I know I will, I have been worse than this beofre (as has my house) but I have to get back on top of it!

ok, you are a poster with a lot of posts.
1.1st of all, well done for coming on here.It took courage, so well done.
2.The kids clearly love you loads. 3.You say you have lost your temper with them, and that is one thing that it would be good to work on.
4..failed everyone well you havent failed your boys , and I actually doubt you have failed others either..You have to do what is also right for you, and you have worked out your ex is not right for you.
5.house is a mess.So is lots of people.I think you would be surprised by just how many.And you have also said it has been worse, so you are in a better position than you have been with it.It is hard to get motivated when other things in life are very upsetting.You will feel more like tackling it at another time, hopefully shortly.Can the boys help a bit, if they are old enough?
6.never have any money.Yes that is difficult,Perhaps you could get some tips to help on here.And , if you are not working, check you are getting the benefits you are entitled to.
7.the kids deserve better.Sounds to me like you are not doing much wrong.Your kids want their mum, and they have got her.Go give them a hug.

Thanks. I am feeling much more positive today :) Did most of the houseowrk (downstairs at least) and having thought about it, we do have enough money. I have a few debts that I need to get on top of, but we have a roof over our heads, food and clothes and enough for the occasional treat like the cinema :)

Out of curiosity though amillion is there a relevance to the fact I have a lot of posts? :)

Glad you are feeling better.
Glad about the housework and the money.
No I dont think there is a relavance, other than when things get on top of us,we tend to add things, that in the cold light of day,or when we are feeling a little better,are not really the core issues,and if you are like me, some turn out not to be a great cause for concern.
My point about lots of posts was somewhat lost in translation using just words.I meant it in a jokey way,as in ok you arrrrre a poster with a lot of posts! way.Not sure if that makes it clearer.Hope so.

Ahh OK I think I know what you meant about my posts
Thanks again for your kind words :)
And you are right, things that seem unbearable when I am having a down day, always seem fine when I am having a good day!