Compulsive overeating support thread?

[Hope4thebest]

Hello

Namechanger.

I overeat to cope with stress/low self-esteem. I am a size 22/20. I want to be a healthy weight and role model to DS. I had a fat mum, I don't want him to have one.

I have had a couple of binges this week. Feeling fed up. I need to loose weight to help with my ttc plans, but I have weighed the same weight for months now, it really needs to go down.

However, having read this thread and thinking about how I really need to do something different, I think I am going to try this.

For a month (I think I need to focus on the short term, long term is too overwelming) I will:

• aim to have 3 meals a day & 3 snacks
• reduce sugar (esp cakes)
• exercise 2/3 times a week
• write my feelings down

Anyone want to join me?

Or to share their struggles with overeating?

I do believe it is possible to "recover", others have, I just need to find the right solution for me.

TIA

I've decided not to name change.

My eating has spiraled since Christmas. I have gone up to a size 16/18. For me this means that i am carrying a lot of body fat. I need toput a stop to this now.

I have stopped wanting to go places because i don't want to have to buy clothes.

The biggest thing for me has been tthe drop in fitness. I am easily tired and lately i don't seem to completely 'wake up', i think this is linked to the type of food that i am eating.

Three meals won't work for me, but i used to be vegan and could easily graze all day on fruit and raw veg. The annoying thing is that i don't even enjoy what i eat.

For two days i made fruit salads etc and felt better than i have done in months and actually liked what i ate.

For me tackling binge eating is the last step in a long journey of recovery from child abuse. Have used food to cope since I was 7 so it's proving hard.

I'm a size 20 as well and stable - but for me being stable is a big thing, it's progress. I cycle a lot and six months ago I started to wear out jeans as I no longer grow out of them.

But I feel very fat, stiff, breathless. I used to be a dancer, hard to imagine now. No crazy goals, I'd settle for a size 16 to start with, would be a lot less unhealthy.

Rather than having eating plans I need to stop eating large quantities of any type of food, eat when hungry rather than just because and stop eating so much sugar at work, it makes me drowsy in the afternoon.

Hi all,

Good idea hope4thebest

I thought i might add myself to this because this is a problem I acknowledged about 6 years ago now and despite an 11 st weight loss (by various methods) including some CBT counselling it has not gone away and 3.5 of those 11st have now crept back on. This puts me at 8st less than when i finally realised I had a problem but in the stage where i desperately don't want to put those 8st back on too.

I really have tried everything and I really do know what i need to do, sometimes I even know why i'm bingeing and it is a fully conscious act yet i still do it. Maybe my charachter is fundamentally flawed!

I have seen a spiral since Christmas toobirdsgottafly and countless promises to get it sorted after New year, after baby's birthday, after valentines day, after easter, after my holiday (last week) etc and tonight i've still eaten my own body weight in food, some 'good' foods some 'bad' foods but all too much.

I've joined SW, haven't been there fore a while and I know that any diet works if you stick to it.

madmouse I too use food to cope (so sorry you have had such a shit time but good to hear you are on the road to recovery), whenever anything shit happens you can usually find my car in the tesco car park while i'm in stocking up! Work is a trigger for me, my job can be emotional and the treat table is always full.

I think this is definitely a MH problem. I asked the Dr for a rederral to MH services about 3 years ago now. However, because i'm functioning, work full time, have a family, keep a home etc they determined I was not in need of services and 'weight gain' is not a serious enough side effect of what is obviously a MH problem.

I understand it though, i live in an area of high unemployment with alcohol and drug problems, in fact my county made national news a few years ago because of its extraordinarily high suicide rate amongst teenagers so I appreciate they have other priorities.

I valued the CBT i got from lighterlife but i can't face going back to that diet at the moment and i can't afford private counselling ATM.

I'm hoping this thread might be helpful x

I'm going to mark my place here. Not ready to write it all out as it's a low day. But a support thread is a really good idea.

Hoping to get a GP appointment this week (very difficult week to take time off!) and take it from there.

I'm marking my place here too.
Also having a bad day, feeling very low about this because I feel that I've tried everything and nothing has worked.
So, not ready to write much more but thanks so much for starting the thread.

Hello, I'm here too, although I'm not sure I'm ready to do anything about my eating right now

But if not now, when?

I have been thinking this for some time now! 3 years ago I lost 4 stone, and I have put 2 of that back on in the last year. I am so fed up.

But I know that it isn't about dieting, it is about just eating 3 meals a day and not scoffing other crap in between.

Not been too bad last few days, and I will lose half a stone, then put all that back on in the space of 3 days.

I have decided that I have to excercise more and try to find ways of coping with stress that does not involve putting calories into me.

If I can join you for the odd chat now and again, that would be great.

You are not alone!

It's mad reading this because I note we all say ...what i need to do is x

but i'm desperate to learn what stops me doing x even why i know that x is what i need to do IYSWIM

Crappy day today BTW, all was going well until i had a corker of a headache when i helped myself make the excuse that i must be low on carbs then so had a stock up which made me feel like i'd thrown the day out of the window so I carried on eating.

I have a day off tomorrow with my DD, i hope it'll be better than today

Hello all

Great to see so many replies (thanks for not leaving me alone!)
even if we are all struggling. Struggling together has to be better than alone...

Birdsgottafly - I agree stuffing my face is rarely about how nice the food tastes...although I rarely binge on lettcue! I think choosing bad food to binge is all part of the self-harming for me - "Lets make it even worse" etc.

madmouse v sorry to hear of your history but also glad to hear you are recovering. I agree stablising is a big thing when you binge eat - so well done. What has changed in the past 6 months do you think, if you don't mind me asking?

smoggii - sorry to hear you are struggling following the weight loss (well done for managing it). I think the reason we do it, is that it feels better - in the moment - than the stress/feelings of lack of self worth etc. Are you doing something nice with DD?

MyCatIsAStupidBastard I agree that exercise is key for me too. Even as a min it helps to balance out the binges.

GinevraMollyWeasley, MaloryMad & Gincognito sorry to hear you are all struggling, hopefully this thread will provide some help.

I have found CBT (paid myself) is useful in understanding why, but I never found "the cure" for the behaviour. I am not waiting for never doing it again, but cutting it down to a couple of times a year would be good. Latest therapist felt that doing something else instead of reaching would be a workable solution for me but have yet to find the right "else" for me...stopped due to the money more than anything.

Had a bit of a miserable day yesterday, following the binging of Friday (I generally have a 2 day "food hangover" where the black cloud just won't go), however didn't overeat. So feeling a bit more optimistic today. Also, as working from home, upstairs in home office rather than in kitchen, the kitchen itself is a full of triggers etc.

Hope everyone is having a better Monday?

Hi Hope4, I've got the food hangover today. It's a feeling I get often but had never really associated it with my binges before, but spot on, I binged yesterday and Saturday and feel awful today. All muzzy headed and very low mood. I have noticed before that I get worse dark circles around my eyes too, and even my wrinkles seem worse, like my skin is very dry. That lasts for about two days also.

My history with food is a complete rollercoaster, although I've never purged and I've never been anorexic. I went on a diet when I was 17 and that's when the binge eating started. I didn't even need to lose any weight, I needed to tone up, but I think there was less information available then about the benefits of exercise, particularly weight training.

Anyway, in the 30+ years since the first binge I have tried everything. I've tried dieting. Every diet. I never really gave low carb a try because that meant eliminating all my favourite binge foods. I am actually giving some serious consideration to giving it a serious try. Then I tried 'intuitive eating'. Definitely didn't work for me, just seemed to make me want more food.

I have got a book that is called Overcoming Binge Eating. It's written by an eminent psychiatrist and his method is the one that's widely recommended in medical circles and has lots of research to back it up as successful. To sum it up, it gives you a series of steps to follow to beat binge eating. However, dieting is forbidden and I think that's always been my downfall when I start doing the steps. I do ok for a few days then get into panic mode about my weight (need to lose 5st, am 5'3" and a size 20) and tell myself to go on a dieting. Then the binge starts again. I can't get rid of the desire to lose weight, understandably at my size, but I know that dieting makes me binge.
It's like a big vicious circle.

Feeling very down about my eating and my size today. I'm 50 now and do feel as if I'm letting life pass me by. I'd like to have more confidence in general. There are so many things I won''t do because of my size and I've really isolated myself because of it. I live alone. I'll admit that I've been going through a phase where I'd rather just stay at home, close the curtains, and sit and eat all evening instead of trying to do something constructive.

My thoughts at the moment are that I'm feeling pressured to lose weight. I'm going to France in June and have no nice summery clothes to wear no nice summery clothes that fit me. Holiday in August plus going on a cruise in December. Ditto. More pressure. So I feel like 'OMG I've got to go on a diet'. But then as soon as I diet my bingeing increases. So I think I'll try to follow the steps in the book I mentioned and limit (but not cut out) carbs because they definitely make my cravings worse. I'm scared if I cut them out altogether I'll just want to binge on them even more. :(

Sorry to be so down, just need to get this all out.

Hi MaloryMad

Yes, food hangovers are the worse. Head and body combining to punish you for being bad...

Sorry to hear you are feeling so rubbish, thanks for sharing (if I am allowed to say that on MN). There are so many things I need to be thinner for, latest is being slim at the school gates by Sept...unlikely!

Sounds like you have a great number of months coming up, a shame you feel as you do, but I totally understand.

I totally empathise with your dieting feelings. I feel I am too fat to not diet, yet it always creates a cycle which then ends up in bingeing. I know they work for some but they just push too many buttons for me.

However, if we both look at ourselves compared to this time last year, has the attempts at dieting helped? They haven't helped me....but it is just such a giant, giant leap to leave it all behind.

The book sounds good. Could you try and do some of it?

I don't want to give up cakes altogether or I will end up licking the window at the local coffee shop, but as an eg I know I don't need to make cakes. I like making cakes as it is easier to hide how much I have eaten as opposed to an obvious 4 pack from the supermarket with my son, however, it won't harm him not to have cake knocking about the place.

The book sounds a bit like Beyond Chocolate, which focuses on giving up dieting. I got as far as throwing out all my old too small clothes (during my pre-wedding heydey of being a size 16 and feeling amazing) but just couldn't bring myself to allow myself to eat anything I wanted (until full). I had visions of a Channel 5 documentary about me in a few years - "Too fat to get out of the house" etc.

The thing I did take from Beyond Chocolate is to still care for yourself even if you are fat. And that actually using nice smellies, cream after a shower, nail varnish (if you are into that sort of thing) can help to refinforce the idea you are a good person worth bothering with - in your own mind more than anyone else. Easy to not bother though.

Can you do something to make yourself feel better? Maybe something non-food related?

Thanks Hope4. It's good to have someone to talk to about this, I don't know about you but nobody in my RL knows about it.
You are quite right, actually since this time last year I've gained a few more pounds and my binge eating has only got worse.
It's probably time for me to tackle it properly and let dieting go...

I've got the Beyond Chocolate book somewhere, must have a proper read of it. I even signed up for their e-course about 6 years ago but never followed through with it. I have this mindset if I start something new, as soon as I binge I seem to panic and tell myself it's not working so I have to do something different. I need to get rid of thinking that way and realise that nothing on earth is going to make me just stop binge eating in a split second, it will take time.

I'm going to read the book I mentioned. I'll write a bit about it here as I go along.
Oh and yes, time to be nicer to myself.

Totally hear what you are both saying about dieting setting you up for a worse binge. I tried to join the low carb bootcamp recently and was really strict for two weeks, lost 9lbs and then one day I was craving chocolate so badly that I ate one of dh's m&ms...and that was it. Three week binge followed :( and I've put all the weight and more back on.

I had severe bulimia in my mid-20s and for a period was extremely underweight. When I stopped purging I went mad for food for a while. It calmed down while I was pregnant with ds and had a young baby, but it seems to have returned with a vengeance recently. Lots of things going on in the background.

I have started listening to the slimpod that is supposed to reduce chocolate cravings. We shall see...

In my ideal world I would do Pilates and Zumba and follow a low-carb diet and would look amazing!

I'm another compulsive over-eater. I was doing really well, lost 3 and a half stone last year and kept almost all of it off. My mum then became ill end of last year, was diagnosed with terminal cancer in Dec and sadly died in January. Since then my eating has got out of control and I have put on loads of weight (haven't dared weigh myself but I have a rough idea how much due to clothes not fitting and how I look). My ongoing mental health problems (bipolar) don't help matters either.

My problem is constant snacking and my love of unhealthy food. I lost the weight with the Cambridge Diet which worked so well for me because it meant I didn't have to worry about food at all. When I finished it I ate healthily and kept all the weight off for months until my mum became ill. It's not helped either by the fact my mum was super fit and healthy and I do just tend to think why should I bother watching what I eat and keeping healthy when it doesn't stop you getting something like cancer. My mum spent years watching her weight and exercising to keep healthy and she still died before her time (she was 62).

I know I need to sort myself out.

MaloryMad, I have told DH a little, but he just doesn't get it. Natural beanpole, struggles to put on weight . I am sure those in my life must realise something is up - eat normal/small portions in front of them, yet still a size 20/22...I am just so determined in everything else I do (which probably contributes to the problem - always striving for perfection, lots to be annoyed at when I don't reach that) it is just so annoying/sad/depressing that I cannot sort this issue.

I too give up half way through things. I am trying to find the "perfect" solution and when it doesn't work. But as you say, a longer term less perfect approach could be the way...

Gincognito bootcamp you did at home? Well done for overcoming bullima (if you consider yourself to be have overcome it).

fedupandtired - really sorry for your loss. Try not to be too harsh on your yourself, it sounds like life threw you a curve ball.

DH threatening to book holiday in a few weeks time. I am worrying about whether or not I'll fit into the seat belt....

Hi

Hope your weeks aren't too bad?

A quick update from me. Day 4 of low/med GI (prob more accurate than low carb) seems to be going ok. Feeling more "balanced", which has resulted in less 'reaching', so haven't over eaten...as yet.

I did experience one strong sensation (felt like screaming from within) to overeat, but it passed really quickly and I managed to not act on it. I sort of just made myself sit still!

However, I have been here, or rather doing well on some new regime before. It always starts out so well....

The sunshine is nice, but does remind me that I am big and cannot (or rather won't) wear summery clothes, or if I do it is with body hiding additons like tights and a cardie. However, trying to focus on looking as nice as I can within "my limits".

This thread has really helped me, so just wanted to say thanks.

hi, sorry I've been quiet, still low mood and not up to posting much. But it's good to read the other posts.
Hope4, sounds like you're doing well so far. It's hard in this warm weather isn't it?
Hope everyone is ok. I'll post properly soon.

Sorry only just seen you asked me a question OP

I had my third bout of therapy for recovery of child abuse and child birth trauma. With an ace (private) psychologist with loads of experience. She did EMDR with me which healed a lot of traumatic memories. When I finished with her I felt really healed.

Hi
MaloryMad have been thinking about you. Sorry you are still feeling low.

Madmouse that is great. Hadn't heard of EMDR before, just looked it up. So glad it has helped you to heal.

A thread from Beyond Chocolate that struck a few cords - chocfairies.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/are-we-all-emotional-eaters.html

Hope Friday/the weekend is good for you all.

Hello

I've been doing Seth Roberts Shangri La Diet for the last month and my desire to binge has pretty much disappeared. It's not a diet as such, it is a way of reducing your body's set point by taking in flavourless calories (a tablespoon of flavourless olive oil such as Mild and Light twice a day with an hour each side with no food or flavours.) It sounds crazy but honestly it really works, it's been a revelation to me. PM me if you want more info. It basically gives you appetite suppression/stops food having a hold on you and enables you to make sensible food choices.

2nd suggestion is Potatoes not Prozac, which I have tried and which does also work - I am a bit stressy at the moment with exams etc but will be getting back to it after they are over. This is a way of tackling sugar addiction, written by someone who specialised in drug/alchohol/addiction issues and is based on the brain's chemistry. Really worth a read, makes so much sense.

It seems incredibly hard but it doesn't have to be. You have to have an open mind about new methods and ideas. The jigsaw is made up from so much complex stuff that we only know a bit of it. As far as I can see, these two ideas above add significantly to the bigger picture.

I am a classic "food as mood altering substance" type. I'm trying to undo this and get to the point where I can feed my body the fuel it needs for health, and enjoy it.

Good luck.

Hi all. Came to this thread late.

I started comfort eating / bingeing when pregnant with my first child 8 yrs ago and suffering from severe SPD, which left me housebound. Previously had been a slim size 10, never had any food issues. The bingeing continued after he was born (had PND) and althugh I go through 'good' and 'bad' phases, and have swung between a size 12 and 20 (currently 14), I have never managed to overcome the bingeing/emotional eating mentality.

I really lost control over Christmas and struggled to regained it. In recent weeks I had started to eat compulsively, bingeing on fast food and desserts most nights. I felt terrible.

I have just had surgery (last week) and cant eat much at the moment, just soups and yogurt. It is a relief in a warped way, that I cant physically consume the food Iusually stuff in.

Like many of you, nobody really knows about my issues and Dh, friends etc just think I love my grub....

I'm feeling a bit better although my eating has been out of control for over a week, unfortunately.

A book I read about a year ago is called Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. She's got a blog of the same name. Anyway, she managed to kick the binge monster. I've read lots on this subject and her book was a totally different take on everything else I've ever read. Sadly, it didn't stop me from bingeing, but I'm on a community forum elsewhere on the net and it's helped a lot of the regular posters on there.

Just wanted to let you all know about it, perhaps it will work for one of you. I haven't given up on it, just that it wasn't the 'easy fix' for me that it was for the author and some of the others on the forum.

The other book, the one I'm trying to stick to is called Overcoming Binge Eating by Dr Christopher Fairburn. Mentioned it previously on the thread. Basically the book outlines the six steps he used in his clinics to help people stop. The thing is with this one, you MUST be in a place where you can let dieting and restricting go completely. That's the reason I keep slipping up with it. I start it then decide to diet and that leads to bad binges.

I hope everyone is doing ok. So nice to know we're not alone though.

Hi

wildstrawberryplace that sounds like it is working for you, great stuff. I will have a look into it. Thanks for the DM invite.

I have Potatoes Not Prozac somewhere in my vast collection of self-help books. Might dig it out again. Thanks for all the ideas.

MacaroniPie sorry to hear it has been a difficult time for you. Hope your recovery from your op goes ok. It is interesting to hear that it "just" started for you. I had assumed it was always something you did from early on, not that makes you feel any better..

Glad you are feeling a bit better Malory. Love "Binge Monster" so apt! I too am looking for "the fix".

Week 2 on lower GI stuff going ok. Not binged in the proper sense, but have sometimes eaten something (managed to stick to fruit) I didn't need. However, compared to other weeks this is v good, so trying to focus on the fact that generally things have been ok.

Is really interesting to note how I then feel (although am aware that some of this might be in my head) when I do have sugary carbs. Had a pre-arranged afternoon tea at the w/end. Felt a bit stabby (to coin a MN phrase) later that day and also hungrier the day after. Or at least I think that is what was happening!

I have noticed though, I am becoming obessed about my clothes and wanting to rush out and buy lots more. I have had issues with money in the past, I think where I was trying to buy happiness to a certain extent.

Maybe it is flairing up as I am not dieting as such, so I feel anxious about that and clothes fitting etc. Last night I was manicly searching around Dorthy Perkins (they have 30% off today by the way) for an outfit that I could change into that night! All the while my friend who I was late for was left waiting for even longer. I managed to talk myself around and just bought some new tights (my skirt was clinging to the original tights so I felt really self-conscious).

I think the hot weather doesn't help. As my summer work wardrobe is limited. However, dashing into a shop and buying something in haste is rarely the way to establish a function wardrobe.

Anyway, this isn't Style & Beauty (!) so I'll stop there. Just to say I am really thankful that others have shared on this thread. I do feel better about things because of it. Just hope others are taking something from it too.

Have a good Thurs.

Hope4 do you mind sharing a typical day's food on your plan with us?
I'm just trying to calm the manic chatter in my head but I am desperate to lose weight. Even just 1st would help because I feel horrible...I look old, I feel huge..I'm wearing awful clothes. I went on a clothes binge about 6 weeks ago - funny this because you alluded to something similar.
I was doing really well not overeating and only lost a bit of weight but it was enough to make me buy some new clothes. Well lo and behold - they are all too tight now. No more money available to buy any more so I either keep wearing these horrible baggy pants and top that are my daily uniform and most unflattering, or lose some weight so the new stuff fits.

I've been watching a thread on the In the club section of the board with interest. The posters there are dieting but on a generous calorie allowance, most of them between 1800-2000 a day. I am thinking maybe to try that because it's not strict that it will set me off into a binge. I don't think...
Going to France in less than two weeks part business part pleasure and if there's one country I hate going to because of my weight, it's France.. there's nothing like feel like a big fat frump in France :(

Hello to everyone else - let us know how you're getting on .