bad thoughts- can anyone help make them go away

[MrsMuddyPuddles]

Ok, I tell myself stupid stories (at least, that's what DH the Buddhist calls it) about things and get myself worked up...

So for instance tonight just now I was thinking about/looking forward to going out on Sat night for a friend's birthday just like a normal person . then started thinking about what if I saw a coworker there a specific one who is loveley and with whom I have a good, joking relationship , and basically in my head making up a dialogue where he says sometihng like "I thought you were off with depression" basically, implying or even outright saying that I'm a fraud and making it all up and am not really depressed at all and I was wondering what I'd reply with, maybe all sputtery which is my usual oh-so-helpful response or maybe something like "did you mean to sound so dismisive and ignorant?" or "are you angling to see my self-harming scars and for the stories behind them?" and that got me wondering about whether I should do something tonight, too... just in case and because tihs got me all worked up!

Aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

Does anyone have any advice or help or suggestions for how to stop these thoughts from running away with themselves or how to turn them around to something positive??!

I had such a good day until just now, too! Goddamnit!

I go through scenarios in my head, and don't have mh problems. Just accept them as that, thoughts that are being worked through. Sorry if this sounds flippant, it isn't meant to.

Thanks :)

Does your working things out in your head ever go places you'd rather it didn't? What do you do then?

I know this is mostly just tiredness talking and I'm kicking myself for staying up so late ... off to attempt sleep now!

If I have any bad thoughts I say to myself " You have to be here to look after the children" It keeps me going! I lost a parent myself so know all about the heartache it causes and it's not short term either.

Hope that didn't sound insensitive.

Sorry I might have read your OP all wrong. it's still early!

:) don't worry cats

Have you had counselling? I'm finding it's really helping with negative thought patterns. Basically, you've become used to these negative thoughts which go through a spiral in your head

You probably need help to find new more helpful ways of dealing with the thoughts as they arise. Mindfulness as someone else mentioned, is very useful.

It's not as easy as just stopping as some posters say. The mind is very powerful and sometimes you need help to make a change like this. Good luck.

I had councelling many years ago, am on the waiting list for more at the moment.

Where/how does one learn mindfulness techniques? I have started the moodgym CBT thingy, maybe I should finish it... I know that a lot of this is me thinking out my fears, and letting them take hold rather that me just accepting that these are fears and letting them go... easy to say now, when I've just had a nap!

I've just got a book by John Cabot Zyn or something like that called "wherever you are there you are". It's supposed to be very good on mindfulness.

Thanks :) I've now started reading "Mindfulness in Plain English" which I bought for DH 2 1/2 years ago, shortly after he became Buddhist so far< so good :)

ps- on a positive note: I've not self-harmed since Weds, even with Thursday night's mental storm, even with getting into a fight with DH yesterday :) thought about it a fair bit, though

As an aside, I think its normal and indeed understandable that most people who haven't had MH issues will be surprised to see a depressed person having fun at a party.

Its exactly how I would have reacted, before it happened to me. Yes, its ignorance. I always take the opportunity to explain my illness to others when they ask, but I don't blame them for not knowing already. I had 40 blissful years of that ignorance and wish I still had it.