just as title suggests. am on cit have been since feb, the 20mg helped, but was still not able to control negative thoughts, still anxious, so doc upped it to 40mg which helped, felt more like myself,was thinking clearer. but my god the terrible tiredness. there is nothing on earth like it! i feel like my legs are made of lead, i sleep from 8pm till half six, every other day dh gets up with kids and i sleep till ten, i keep falling asleep during the day too. have become addicted to caffine drinks, having up to 4 cans of monster a day while at work just to be able to keep going. i cant let on i am struggling at work, i was up for a promotion, was told hundred times that as soon as i could go full time i would get promotion, and i worked hard for it. i asked in march about going full time and getting promotion as kids old enough and was told the job was going to someone else (he actually asked the whole team in desperation to find someone to take job) i called a meeting and asked why and he said because i wasnt the person i was a year ago, that although i have my depression under control right now, he couldnt trust me not to have a relapse, and he needs someone in control. so i cannot allow him to see how tired i am, i must show that i can cope!!!
well i decided enough was enough and started to just take 20 again, the tiredness improved but i am tearful, reclusive, foggy headed and anxious again.
what do i do?! i spoke to gp today who just said to alternate 20's and 40's. but i feel like i have screwed myself by taking them in the first place! feels like a rock and a hard place!
what do i do?!