Hi,
I've name changed to post. Long time lurker, only occasional poster. I feel a bit silly posting here but I'm at the end of my tether. I need to keep some details vague as I know a few people here.
DH suffers from an anxiety disorder. Its been on and off for a decade. After a really long period where it was all OK and managed (about 18 months?), it's come back big time. Two weeks ago he admitted he was feeling 'that way' again.
I love him, I do, and I would do anything for him to be well. Doctor has doubled his dosage, he's gone back to his therapist etc. I feel so selfish saying this but I feel so horribly alone. He's gone to his mums for a few days (I work and he is taking a few days off so don't want him to be alone for long periods).
I just started a new job so I can't talk to them. My family know but I dont want to worry them as they have had other serious things to worry about lately. My friends are OK but they ask so many questions and I haven't got the energy to answer them all over again and again, plus I feel like I'm boring them as it happens every year. I'm not sure they fully understand it either. I just want someone to give me a hug to be honest.
Also I'm really worried as this is the first ever time he's had to leave work with it. He spoke to his Head Of dept and he was apparently really good and he is taking a few days off but now I'm starting to worry - what if they make cuts there? Surely he is going to be first in line for the chop? What if that ever happens?
My head feels like it's going to explode :(