So angry all the time

[snoopyplaystennis]

I have been through a lot of shit and have clinical depression too. I have antids that help and see smeone once a month but I am really struggling with anger. I am furious all the time both at past things and current things. It affcets me physically and mentally and the anger is deswtroying me as well as stopping me from dealing with issues. I don't know what to do and I am feeling very depserate. I cannot afford to see anyone more than once a month and even then I am too ashamed to be honest with that person. I am drwoing in fury and it is making my depression worse. I feel so alone - please help

I'm sorry I can't help but I can empathise, I really struggle with depression and anger and they are very much one and the same

Its getting to the point where I dont want to go on, I cant cope and I know if I let the anger take control I will really fuck up my life

I can only suggest going back to your GP and explaining that you need extra help, an urgent referral for therapy.

I am on quite a high dose at the moment, I suspect unless I saw someone properly qualified like a psychiatrist the GP would not put it up

I dont feel able to do anything, I feel like a failure that after all these years of antids and counselling I am in such a bad place, I feel like nothing works for me and I cant take this much longer. Years of misery and it is just getting worse. I don't have a very good GP, so I know already she will not be able to help. I don't feel I have the energy to try yet again to get help. I am so low, there is so much wrong with my life, I can't see where to begin, I dont think it or I can be fixed

For the first time I have actually found an anti-d that is helping a bit but I still have some bad bad days and some not so great days and I'm back in therapy

I can identify all you are saying.

Random do you feel tired a lot, my tiredness is definetely contributing to feeling so bad and I have very bad health anxiety so too scared to go to the doctor

Yes I do, I don't sleep as well on these anti-ds which is hideous, it sounds like you would benefit from having a CPN?

Have you vented on paper all that you are angry about?

It can be theraputic and help give you direction in therapy too, I often feel angry but really when you dig underneath it's masking really deep hurts.