My behaviour towards my kids...

[Theenormouscrocodile]

Oh dear, here goes. I don't really know where to start on this one so it may be a bit jumbled.

Some days I really really struggle to cope with my 2 dc, one is 2.6, the other 4.4. I can be calm, happy & enjoying our day and the next minute I'm a raving screeching lunatic for no real reason. This can occur because of anything really. I've been working on my self control and try really hard to keep myself in check. However, this evening I lost it with the youngest over switching off a lamp. I ended up slapping him around the head . I feel utterly vile and awful that i've basically assaulted him. I'm terrified if i admit any of this in RL that they will be removed from me. I love them dearly and I know this cannot happen again, never ever!

I think I've got severe pre-menstrual syndrome, however this seems to be the case for 3 weeks out of 4. I'm seeing the doctor on Thursday & I really need help with how to explain my situation and get the help I need. Can this be PMS, am I just crazy or is it something else? I don't want to be behaving in this way at all & I'm desperately shocked at my behaviour.

My poor kids

It sounds like your in difficult place at the minute. Very glad that you are going to the doctor soon.
Hopefully someone will come along who can offer you some advice.
Bumps thread

You clearly know that slapping your child around the head is a serious matter and that it needs addressing and that is good.

PMS for 3 weeks per 4 is not normal PMS. You're unlikely to be just crazy. I'm tempted to say that whatever the underlying cause, you need help controlling your temper around your kids. Start by walking away from a situation when you feel your control slipping.

I can imagine it's not easy to tell your doctor what is going on but it is the only way forward. I would recommend that you ring the NSPCC anonymously on 0808 800 5000 to get some advice on how to stop hitting your child.

I saw this and felt that I had to respond to you. Is there anything else going on in your life that is making you especially stressed. I am going through a bit of a tough time atm and I sometimes feel irrationally angry over really stupid things. Not to the point where I have lashed out but I have to leave the room to calm down. This helps because I can get some perspective about what I am really angry about. I know that it isn't really about what my son is doing, it's about me and all of the shit that is going on in my life.

I have no real advice other than to say that you sound like you love your kids and you know that you need some help. I hope you have someone that you can talk to about this in RL.

I too am finding it extremely tough at the moment. I am finding that I am deliberately distancing myself from my children. I am constantly thinking of the next thing that I need to do rather than focusing on the present to the point that I'm not really listening to my children or attending to their needs.

I am extremely stressed, big financial problems, poor relationship with dh and generally not coping. I think as a self preservation tactic I am deliberately zoning out of my life at the moment, if I allowed my self to be part of if I really would lose the plot and I dread to think what I would do, throw myself in front of a train I imagine.

I know I am of no use to my children at the moment. Dh said that he feels that I
am here but not here and when the children talk to me he said he can almost hear my brain whirring as I try to process what they are saying. He is right, that is exactly how it is.

It is definitely possible to have severe pms lasting that long - often I get it for two weeks. Go to the dr and get some help!

Hi thanks for the responses. Tonight has been a real low point.

Becky My life is generally good, no obvious stress inducing situations going on. I think this s why I'm struggling, there's nothing for me to pin the blame on, it's all me & I feel wicked.

I feel I've damaged him so much tonight. I've been in to check on him so many times tonight & when I look at him I cannot believe what i've done. He's sleeping peacefully.

I will need to see what the GP says but I don't think I can admit to hitting him. I'm going to have to word it carefully so that I'm not fobbed off but don't cause alarm.

Why oh why did I not leave the room? Why did I allow myself to get so worked up?

pixie thanks! My cycle is every 23/24 days, so no longer has it finished then it's back on the same road again. I definitely feel the hormonal surge around ovulation which can last for a week, then I get a few days respite then it kicks in again. My mother's life was blighted with PMS and therefore so was mine and I have horrid memories of the kind of behaviour I've displayed tonight. I CANNOT allow history to repeat it's self.

I think it's really good that you are verbalising what you did - it is one step to getting a grip. Do you take evening primrose? I take 3 x 1000 capsules a day. Takes three months to work but once if kicks in, it helps sooo much with pmt rage.

bonnie hope your okay!

cookie I've taken castus angus on occasion, but not evening primrose. Does it really work? My diet probably isn't helping either so need to be looking at getting rid of all the crap I wolf down & see if that helps me keep on the safer side of PMS.

Is smacking your child illegal? (I honestly don't know ) could you call NSPCA as suggested above and find out what they think you should say to the gp so it's taken seriously but not so seriously that your fears are realized. You could also ask what circumstances would lead to removal .... or maybe a visit to your local councils website would have that info.

It sounds like you're having random bouts of temper, is this normal for you (from the start of menstration) or new/newish? Unexplained anger is a symptom of a lot of things (physical as well as mental ), did anything else change about the time that this 3 week pms started? Please also mention your mother in the appointment.

Another source of help for you is your HC (if you've got a good one, mine was but I understand that not all are as kind and helpful )
Good luck.

Op, you know what happened tonight was wrong, and can't happen again. You need help, and it sounds to me like you are determined to change your situation. Don't be too hard on yourself. You can't change what has happened, but you can make this a turning point, and I hope you can move forward from here, and take some much needed support from the professionals. Good luck.

re-reading, I should have said HV, sorry :(

I hope today is better for you.

Sorry no experience of PMS, but do you think going on the pill would be an idea?

Thank you all. Today has been a bit better. I've been on the verge of shouting a couple of times and really had to reason with myself that it's completely fruitless and makes the situation worse. BUT I did keep it together and everyone was much happier for it.

The guilt is still ripping through me & I think it will for a long time to come. I just hope this is my turning point.

Glad yesterday was better :) I hope your gp visit goes well!

thanks mrs. Hope you're okay too!

Thanks, am working on getting better :)

What did the GP have to say? I'm such a nosey cow