Self-loathing

[munkysea]

I often get wrapped up in intense waves of self-loathing. I'll remember some silly thing I did or said and be bowled over by a heart-wrenching sense of self-loathing and hatred. Sometimes it's so bad I stress for days about making a fool of myself. I find myself whispering, "I hate myself."

I've had trouble with depression in the past and am so terrified I'm getting depressed again.

I'm being a total cow to my DP as well and being totally unfair. Sometimes I feel like I'm desperate to make him into a a bad guy when he's not. He's lovely.

have a chat with your doc . it's often useful to get someone else's perpsective on how you are feeling.

ps i whisper 'fuck off' about fifty times a day to my self-loathing thoughts. i imagine as i move into my older decades it will be less whispering and more ranting!

I hope I'm not ranting at the bins when I'm 85.

I will check in with the doc.