Feeling desperate and v alone.

[orangeandlemons]

Been off work sick with anxiety since Jan (v stressful job). Been through 4 lots of ad's. None have worked, and 2 have made anxiety worse.

Struggling on with sertaline (Week 6). It has made anxiety worse, and am v up and down with it.

Saw consultant yesterday (again) basically blamed all side effects on me. Suggested I go back on one which I was on when signed off sick meaning (to me) it wasn't working properly.

Basically I felt she was sick of me. DH trying hard, but also sick of it all. So last night went to bed feeling sickwith misery, cannot stop crying, have phoned Samaritans. Feel so totally alone, self harming thoughts, hideous anxiety, and at the moment little hope for future. Lost, at a dead end, and don't know where to turn. Don't have mental energy to fight for anything else anymore. Some side effects have scared me shitless, so scared to take anything else.

Consultant suggested perhaps I wasn't depressed . Feel fucking frantic and totally totally isolated and scared

So sorry you are going through this Orange , i know with some anti depresants they can make you feel more anxious to begin with. Could you see a different doctor? (some don't seem to be very understanding and others are lovely).

Anxiety is horrid

I have just come off of Anti-D's as they were not working for me, i now feel a bit lost as it feels like theres nothing out there that will work, my gp's not great and i hate having to go and see him.

I hope things improve for you and sorry i couldn't be more help xxx

My GP is lovely, but lovely though she is, she must be sick of me too.

Why weren't they working for you?

I have tried a couple different anti-d's, i really should have gone back to my gp to try something else but silly me thought i would just come off of them. They made me put on weight and the anxiety felt no better, maybe i needed a higher dose? (i'm not sure), i will probably go back to the gp and try something else (its just hard work getting myself to the gp as i hate going and most of my anxiety is based around getting ill, so the last place i want to go is the gp surgery).

I'm sure your GP is not sick of you, its there job to help you and make you feel better xxx

Poor you, I know how black it can all seem. If talking to Samaritans helped you can call them again you know.

I would go back to your GP - maybe print out what you wrote and show him/her? if it is too hard for you to make the call, maybe your DH could make the appointment and go with you?
the thing is, you dont HAVE to feel like this and getting the meds right should make an enormous difference, although it will take time. I hope you feel better soon.

I have an appointment on Tues. GP is the only help at all.

Just sitting here crying and crying and crying, and can't stop. Can't tell poor dh all the time. He had to get up at 3.00am to take ds to airport for college trip. Just want to curl into little ball, and make black pit of despair and fear go away.

Everything is so much effort. Picking up dd, stacking diswasher. I don't want to do anything. I know basis of CBT is to force yourself, and am going to try shortly. Just had to get it all out, as it has been building up like a volcano about to erupt

Hi, I know what a horrid time this is. A year ago i was prescribed Fluoxetine and felt immediately worse then tried citalopram which took a while but after a good 6/8 weeks gradually started to feel a heck of alot better. Hang on in there, you will get better. x