Can someone hold my hand during this wobble?

[wibblywobbler]

Have NC'd as I want to keep this wobble separate from my usual postings.

Having such major anxiety right now. Had an assessment from SS a few weeks ago, no further action taken and file closed as it was all bull crap but it really shook my little world and I have been suffering from anxiety ever since. SS spoke to DC's school and I feel I am being treated differently now, my DC certainly are.

Turned on my old mobile phone this evening for the first time in months to check the sim and there are voicemails from the school nurse wanting to make an appt, I gave the school my new details but they obviously haven't fully updated the file as sometimes I am contacted on my old number, sometimes on my new number, no matter how many times I correct them. Anyway, now I am worrying the school nurse will think I am avoiding her and refer back to SS.

Went for my first session of counselling today and though it was all positive I am now freaking out in case the therapist refers me to SS as I have a baby, no support network, have trust issues, paranoia and a narcissistic mother.

I feel the boogeyman is round every corner. I have alway been a worrier but since SS came on the scene, and even now they are out of it, I have been one big neurotic mess.

Scared exdp is going to use SS as a tool to manipulate me over contact

I can't bear this panic and anxiety.

Anyone?

If SS have closed the file they obviously didn't think there were concerns that need following up, so try not to worry that they will become involved again. SS should be there to support parenting and help parents. If your ex partner talks to them they will probably realise if he's just trying to cause trouble for you.

It's not your fault the school nurse hasn't been given your new number, so if you contact her and explain I'm sure it will be ok.

It's good that you're having some counselling as support for you, and I'm sure she will have explained to you the confidentiality policy. If you don't have a support network can you talk to your health visitor and find out if there any groups in your area where you could meet people?

Thanks GRW for replying, and sorry for my delay in responding. Stepped away from the computer for a bit to get myself together

Thanks for giving me a much needed dose of rationality! I go to a couple of groups a week and have no trouble talking to people there, but I just chat on a very superficial level, really struggling making friends rather than acquaintances.

I found it hard talking to the counsellor, wondering if anything I was saying could be taken the wrong way if she was being over zealous. I have got it into my head people are being nice and sweet to my face but looking all the time for things that could be reported to SS.

The rational part of me always knew the file would be closed after the assessment as there were no grounds for it, but my mind just ran away with itself and is still doing so.

Ww, am sorry to hear you are going through this, my DH had a bout of serious anxiety coupled with panic and talking with a counsellor helped. What you say is confidential and will go no further, getting worries off your chest will make you feel better and hopefully help you resolve things so keep going and try to relax when your there. Remember she's there to help not judge you.

There have been a lot of scare stories in the press about SS but they have closed the file which is a good sign.

With time, acquaintances will become friends so don't be hard on yourself.