Please could someone just talk to me for a bit, bit desperate

[TheGroundhog]

Absolutely not going to do anything to myself, temptingas it is, but I can't stop crying, feel so trapped, don't even know what I am asking for as there is naff all anyone can do, so lost.

Massive health anxiety, having treatment but justdon't feel I can do it, dp usuall y brilliant, but his dad is in hospital, have been trying to be really strong for him, but thismorning just lost it and couldn't stop crying, he is really upset and has stormed off, i don't blame him I feel like such a bitch.

How are you feeling this afternoon?Any better?

Not long back from the hospital, they did the ECG in the assessment unit, said it was totally fine and completely normal, then added, however if you have chest pains then really you should be in A&E.

I queried it and said surely if the ECG was clear then it wss just anxiety, but no, she said again that I should really go to A&E.

Went straight there, had another ECG, took pulse, blood pressure, checked chest, listened to heart. Both cardiac nurse and Dr were both lovely, said they were pretty sure it was not heart related and just anxiety and to try not to worry.

Do I feel better? No. Am just totally stuck on them saying 'pretty sure' rather than them being certain.

Driving myself slowly insane, really do have to pull myself together for dp and the kids sake. Hate being like this so much.

amillionyears you have been so lovely constantly checking in, I am not worth it, but thank you

A pysch nurse I knew used to say if you wanted to try and distinguish between a panic attack and a heart attack, to try running up some stairs and you would soon know.

You are so worth it.And tell yourself this every single day.A poster on another thread said it takes a long time to rewire the brain about self esteem.And she suggested having notes in each room that you will notice daily.So start with ones that say "I am worth it".
Im sure other people can suggest others.

re the anxiety. Would your local vicar be able to help?

Dear TheGroundhog. Normally i would suggest that you search on here for similar threads. But having looked back on them, I cant find much that would be of much help.And this may be the reason you are not getting many replies.
I dont know about this sort of thing, but I am guessing that nothing much is helping at all, no matter what people say, it is not much helping.
So I suggest to you that a vicar, or going to church may start to help you get calmer.I think I am right in saying that some churches you can walk in to them.If not, presumably a local vicar would have a key. Sitting in a church, even if there is not a service going on may be of some use to you.
You may feel better when your dps family is on the mend.

Maybe basic meditation/mindfulness migh help? Close eyes and focus on breathing. Acknowledge other thoughts, then return to focus on breathing. That type of thing.
You're doing OK!
Don't forget to eat