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i think I'm loosing it!

5 replies

liverLadyLass · 30/04/2012 10:46

I feel I'm going to explode from the inside,
i feel so angry and feel I could just throttle someone,
I've got no patience at all,
I can't do anything right,
I feel like crying and screaming and I don't know why?
I'm sick of feeling I have to answer to my husband for everything all the time,,
I'm sick n tired of only having my DCs as company,
I've no friends, shitty family,
who only give a toss about themselves,
who only come here if they want to bad mouth other people,or want something,
I get no time to myself to do anything for myself and if I were I'd most likely be riddled with guilt,
my DH works constantly atm,
we hardly see each other, or have sex, I'm waiting on a colonoscopy getting done,
he moaned at me this morning for missplaceing the car key? called me deluded, as I was almost certain it was in my jacket I had on, but it was only the spare key, the key I used yesterday wasn't there, and he's having a go at me, he misplaces his keys constantly, I do it once and I'm fucking deluded?
he's apparently sick and tired of me,
everytime he sees me I apparently have a go at him? I dont fucking see him enough to have a go at him? he explained when he came in last night I bearly talked to him, even though he fell asleep on the chair and I woke him to tell him I was going to bed to lock up when he came up... my dd drove me up the wall yesterday I think I'm entitled to be able to be tired and sit in peace and watch a film without him thinking it's something he's done,
sometimes I feel I'm a single parent,
sometimes I feel he'd be better off if I were,
i feel I'm one less thing he could be doing without,
found my meds this morning thank god, hopefully I'll start to feel better soon,

OP posts:
NanaNina · 30/04/2012 12:01

Well LLL you certainly paint a picture of how much you are struggling/suffering at the moment. It wasn't until the last line when you mentioned your meds, I realised why you were on the MH thread. Can you say a bit more about your MH - how much of your present state is the result of your MH do you think. Have you stopped taking your meds as you mention "finding them again."

boschy · 30/04/2012 12:42

couldnt read and not answer - you sound so stressed you poor thing. I second what nana says about the meds - I would start taking them again and make yourself an urgent gp appointment (even tho the meds will take a while, at least you know you are doing something!)

how old are your DC? if very little, can you sit them in front of a DVD while you have some quiet time in another room?

just try and concentrate on one thing at a time...

liverLadyLass · 30/04/2012 16:32

hi there thanks for replying to me,
my mh is ok when taking my meds I'm alot more ‘balanced' when im taking them, I thought I had lost them and was worried as my dr would not give me more, I'm on them for anixitey mainly,
I had an attack this morning I can't control it from happening though,lucky my DH knew I needed him this morning and took my dd to nursery for me,then brought both kids home after school, I slept the whole time, I never thought I was struggling, the kids have been pushing boundaries with me lately, I'm glad to see them,
I think my meds are working I'm a bit calmer know,,

OP posts:
boschy · 30/04/2012 21:31

ok that's good that you are feeling a bit better. I think you've just got to hang on in there til they kick in again properly. good to hear your DH is helping, that will make a big difference.

anxiety is so horrible isnt it? I do sympathise.

liverLadyLass · 02/05/2012 09:21

It is., I went the doctors yesterday she thinks it could also be hormonal, I feel even better today Smile
It's scary to even think about what you may consider doing to yourself whilst unwell and you don't realise your struggling until your feeling better,
Thanks for listening lady's,,
I feel awful lonely sometimes,
Even tho i know why my dh works so much, it's so hard sometimes, when I'm balanced I can handle anything,,
I'm being sent for a scan, my dr thinks I may have fribrodes, and this could be reason why I feel so exhausted all the time,
I'm still drinking red bulls but can't help it,
Know I'm starting to feel better Ill try and slow it down and try something herbal,,
My dh is very patient with me, god love him, I wish I had the energy he has,
Thanks for listening again, Smile

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