pregnant with 3 children and seriously need some hope as feel like fucking off!

[staycalmandcarryon]

basically, I am one fucked up women, came from an abusive home, put into care, became a complete fucked up person with mood swings, took drugs you name it ive done it.

I adore my children with all my heart and truly want them to have a balanced, loving, caring childhood from a mother who isnt an emotional wreck! crying one minute, snapping at my husband another, feeling intense irritability.

Everyday I struggle to fit it and feel comfortable around most people (when i'm like this) confused, angry, isolated. How can I possibly be a good mother when I am so emotionally unstable, I really feel like they deserve so much more and I should just walk away and vanish and give up my life totally, surely they would be better off not having me around as i'm such a twat obsessing about everything. I cant live like this so I dread to think how the children cope and how will it effect them as adults!?

I really need to hear from someone if there is anyone who has some light to shed on this and who has been through this and has a positive story to tell as right now I am struggling with my very existence!

don't want to leave this unanswered, as you are saying that you feel really down at the moment.

I expect you already realise that when you feel like this, you aren't really being fair on yourself (it probably doesn't truly represent what kind of a Mum you are) but are beating yourself up because you feel so low.

Can you wake DH up and have a good sob about your feelings?

Do you have any phone numbers of local or national self help/support/mental health organisations?

Or try care for the family www.careforthefamily.org.uk/ website.

really hope you get a good sleep and have a better day tomorrow - keep posting here if it helps x

I'm not qualified to give you advice honey, but from what you've said, you do need some help. Can you make an appt with your GP/MW/HV first thing tomorrow?

Your children need you honey xxx

Big hugs xxx

I have an app with the Psychiatric Doctor
And we all know what they do and that's hand out drugs like they are sweets! I dont want those, I need a new personality and they don't hand out personality transplants. One minute I am lovely and the next I am emotional, stressed, irritable, obsessed and horrible! My children don't need that they need a mother who is stable not an idiot like me. I am sick of it, I don't even know who I am myself!

I very much doubt that you need a new personality, maybe a chance for your own personality to shine through.

And medication can help in the short term to stabilise things.

Have you had any decent therapy at all to help you process this horrible childhood?