Is it always good to talk?

[OverThinkerAnon]

I have had PND for the past year. I see a CPN about every 3 weeks, although this have been a bit hit and miss since Xmas as she has been off sick a lot; and my HV once a month. I get on really well with both of them especially my HV and they are the only 2 people I feel able to talk to. BUT whenever I see either of them it leaves me very upset. Is this a good thing??? Or would I be better off not seeing either of them and just getting on with it? Is talking things over just really re-living it and over thinking things OR is it the best way of dealing with matters, putting them to rest and getting someone else's perspective?
I also feel that because they are the only people I talk properly to that I have become very emotionally attached and I'm not sure this is good either?

I use to have a (older and quite motherly) friend who would always engage in quite intense conversation if we went anywhere alone. She was always lovely and full of 'helpful' advice and trying to sort out probs, etc. We'd talk about current issues and depressing things, and though I kind of felt it was good to talk about issues I often felt very upset by the end of it too. I could never decide whether it was a good thing or not, since these things wouldn't get discussed any other time really.

Anyway, after I got married/went to uni our intense convos have mostly stopped and tbh I feel a lot better for it. I'm a 'get on with it' sort of person and find that if I dwell on things too much then I get very upset and it makes me much more of any depressive feelings I may have. (Just to put in context, I had depression for several years as a teenager plus ante- and post-natal depression a few times.)

So.. I would say that for things that you feel you are holding in, things that are pent up, things that are on your mind all the time: YES you need to talk about them, get them out, get them in to perspective/get advice, etc, but this is as and when they turn up.

But for everything else IMO I would say no don't do it, it only makes you more aware of your pnd and less likely to move on.

I'm a much happier and more well person when I don't talk about things too much. That said, make sure you do have some friends that you can unload onto occasionally!

Talking for the sake of it won't necessarily help. It helps to have an outlet when you need one. But some people need to talk much more than others. Some people process things in their own way without talking. Personally my way is talking things over with a friend, it helps me make sense of things. DH's way is thinking it through by himself. It fits our personality types.

Having said that, structured talking in the form of counselling or CBT is almost always helpful with PND and depression generally.

Don't worry about that attachment. It will loosen again when you get stronger and more yourself again.

Thanks for this. You both make a lot of very valid points. I just don't know if I can let go of the only people I feel I can talk to even though that means talking retrospectively rather than at the times i actually need to.

Why would you want to let go of them?