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Mental health

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Original poster

how can I help my friend

8 replies

blondehelen · 11/02/2006 16:18

I saw a friend from work yesterday and she is very low, crying a lot of the time. Her dd is 14 weeks, first baby, no partner and her family live away. She went to her GP and is going to start St John Wort. Her mum is down for a week but i am wondering what i can do to help her. I thought about sending her a card, taking her out while her mum is down but I don't know what to do for the best as I have no experience of this apart from a couple of days of baby blues, and I don't want to make things worse. Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:

spacedonkey · 11/02/2006 16:22

What a lovely friend you are BH, for wanting to help her

Perhaps some practical help might be appreciated? Maybe cook her a meal or something? I don't know if you have the time to spare though. It sounds as if she may be very isolated if there's no partner and no family nearby.

Taking her out while her mum's visiting sounds like a good idea.

It's hard to say what she would find most helpful, but just knowing she has a friend who cares about her and wants to help is probably a huge help in itself.

Original poster

blondehelen · 11/02/2006 16:27

thanks spacedonkey. Time is limited as work full time and 2 kids etc, but am off this week with half term so have a bit more time. Suggested we go out and see a light hearted film , but she is not sure if she can face going out. I am not sure whether to encourage her more, cos i would hate for her to stop going out completely.

OP posts:

spacedonkey · 11/02/2006 16:31

Oh it's so difficult, I know

I have had a major period of depression (feeling better now though) recently, and I know that not-being-able-to-face-anything feeling. The irony is she would feel better if she did get out, but trying to force her might cause even more stress. It really is like treading on eggshells for those around her I should think. I just hope that her GP was supportive and can help her through this.

Original poster

blondehelen · 11/02/2006 16:51

think i will give her a call tomorrow and see how she feels. If she doesn't want to go out then I think i will just keep in regular contact so she knows i am around. She has some uni work hanging over her head so i have said i will going round one day without the kids and help her break the back of it then hopefully that will help. Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:

Aero · 11/02/2006 16:54

What about a girls night in either at yours or hers with a takeaway and a DVD and perhaps a bottle of wine if she's not bfing.

Otherwise, just keep up the contact.

Lmccrean · 11/02/2006 16:57

I had a rough time after dd was born, and the best gifts I got were frozen meals (proper homecooked ones mind you, not tesco ready meals!) and a good friend to chat about anything other than my baby for 10-15 mins a day!

spacedonkey · 11/02/2006 17:06

BH, I think you are doing all the right things already. I'm sure she'll appreciate help with her uni work, and your continued friendship and support will be invaluable to her.

Good luck!

Original poster

blondehelen · 11/02/2006 17:08

thanks for all your advice. As i said on the saturday afternoon thread, I am of to do some mini household tasks

OP posts:

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