Has anyone else found that counselling has drastically changed them (for the better)?

[HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer]

Just out of interest really :)

It suddenly occurred to me yesterday that I am a completely different person than I was 2 years ago before I started having regular counselling and CBT and I'm really pleased about it.

I had cripplingly low self esteem and anxiety due to emotional abuse and emotional neglect in childhood, and really struggled socially and making friends, and was very sensitive. But at the same time I was unassertive and took all kinds of rubbish from people, quite often so-called friends, but would always feel angry inside as I ended up doing things for people, being treated disrespectfully and never able to express my full opinions or how I felt as I felt I always got beaten down by people.

Anyway, as I said, I started the counselling about 2 years ago and it has dawned on me that it has really worked; I've got rid of so many friends it's unbelievable. Some that have treated me badly I have confronted and actually had rows with, others I have just stopped contacting and let the 'friendship' drift. I feel so happy in my own company now too which is something I never felt before as I always had to be with someone to prove people liked me, but now I turn down so many invitations and am incredibly choosy about who I spend time with.

The other thing too is that I have totally stopped second guessing myself and regretting my actions or things I've said, and I'm much more confident now that my opinion is my opinion and that is that iykwim. It's hard to explain but I used to have an opinion, say I said to someone the sky is blue and they would say 'no it's pink!' and I'd be beaten down and say 'Oh ok maybe you're right it is pink'. I've realised too that I really set boundaries now and I find it so easy to say no to people that previously i would have said yes to because I'd have been worried they would fall out with me. To be fair, a few takers/nasty friends did stop bothering with me once I started saying no to them but I knew that would be the case as they obviously liked the 'old' me who they could treat like dirt. I seem to have developed a zero tolerance for people that treat me badly now. If someone makes nasty comments or does something horrible then I just won't tolerate it, whereas a couple of years ago I just took it and thought it must be my fault for being horrid (my mum always told me I was horrible)

Hope you don't mind me sharing how I feel, I am so pleased I've changed and tbh sometimes I don't even recognise myself but I like that. Has anyone else had similar experiences?

What a lovely post to read!

I'm actually a trainee counsellor and it is so nice to hear of the positive effects that counselling can have on an individuals self-esteem. It is often the case that when you reflect back on your experiences, you can really see how the counselling process has changed the way that you act and feel towards both yourself, others and different situations.

Well done to you for all your hard work.

Well done you

3 years ago I was diagnosed with PTSD, I was traumatised by my son's difficult birth and the hair raising early weeks he spent in NICU/SCBU nearly losing him and with a diagnosis of brain damage and ensuing disabilities. In addition the helplessness I experienced in labour triggered memories of the severe sexual abuse I suffered as a primary school child. So I was a bit of a mess.

I decided that it was a matter of confronting the lot or die so I went for it. I started with an NHS therapist who stabilised me to an extend and helped me figure certain things out. Then I saw a specialist abuse counsellor and finally last year I saw a very experienced psychologist who did EMDR with me which really banished the memories to the past and helped me take charge again.

It's not just been counselling. I have amazingly supportive friends and owe my life to one of them (that was a very bad night). And I've worked very hard. As much as I pooh pood the idea of me being 'brave' it was difficult to confront things head on but I'm glad I did.

There will always be scars. My nerves are easily jangled and I think I'm more vulnerable than before, but then before all my feelings were frozen so nothing really mattered.

I hope counselling does work! I am going through (had 4 sessions) it although I have had a long break (because of holidays, not mine) in between sessions.
I have another week to get through before I see mine again.
I don't feel any better yet.

At this moment in time, I feel pretty low and am finding life a struggle!

I ahve counselling for PND 12 years ago after the birth of DS2. A lot of emotions came to the surface, including me going through a grievieng process for my dad who ahd died years earlier when I was 16. I'd never grieved properly for him for various reasons. i also ahd a lot of resentment (again due to dads death and prior to that him being in hospital) towards my mum, but mainly towards my aunts. And finally I had a lot of guilt that the CPR I did on him didn't work... i could be here all day

But yes it did help, it got me back on an even keel,a dn even though the depressin rears its ugly head now and again I recognise the signs and can deal with it

Cats you will get through that last week too. And I do hope counselling really works for you.

Thank you so much everyone, so sorry to hear some of you have been through/are going through hard times. Big hugs to you all.

inneedofchocolate, the change is amazing isn't it and like you say, it's all about how we ourselves act in certain situations as others/situations don't change only the reactions given by people. Hope your counsellor training is going well, I'd like to train as a counsellor myself at some point.

madmouse, wow you have done so well to overcome everything that has happened to you and you should be very proud of yourself.

catssleepanywhere, it's a shame that there is such a gap in sessions for you :( I found at first that I did feel worse before I got better but when I did feel better I felt a lot better. I hope it all works well for you.

Saltire, you too have done so well, it sounds as though you've had a very hard time. Like you say, it's identifying the signs of depression and then preventing yourself getting in the spiral isn't it

Absolutely I started counselling in November after disclosing about childhood sexual abuse to the police and it has turned my life around has been bloody hard work as I've also had to deal with DS who has SN's for so long I thought of everyone else not myself and became an awful angry person.

At first I went through so much trauma,stress and anxiety I couldn't see a future but now I've finished my counselling and feel fab most of the time I wouldn't of done it without the added support of my family, MM on here, the wonderful DC and a FB group I belong to they've all put up with my crap and kept me going.

If you get a good counsellor who let's you lead the way I think it makes a difference I'd tried counselling years ago on and off through MH and it was the same male CPN who I didn't like and couldn't open up to.

It is great to hear positive stories about counselling I agree Inneedofchocolate! I am an alcohol and addictions counsellor, and so many of my clients have experienced trauma or one kind or another in their past, that has been been a pre cursor to addiction, self harm and eating disorders.

Empathy is all important, and there are some very skilled people out there, really heartened that the posters have found the right person for them. Well done for taking charge. xx

dottyspotty, I'm so glad that you are feeling good now. I totally agree that a good counsellor makes all the difference. My therapist has been fantastic, she has been such a source of support and I know she is only on the other end of the phone if I need any help or support.

Sarah, it must be very rewarding as a counsellor when you see changes in your clients. Like I said to dotty, I was very lucky with my therapist, we really clicked and I felt she was very much on my wavelength (my age, similar age children, live in same area etc) which in my case helped very much