This is about the second or third time I've posted about him, I don't want to leave him or do anything stupid, but sometimes I just don't understand why he seems to work to wind me up.
Friday night is for me online grocery shopping night and for him ironing night. Ironing and clothes washing are the only household chores he's responsible for.
We both work full time, me from home, and normally I'd spend evenings cleaning. Dh spends a lot of evenings working on his uni work (he's a month away from completeing degree) so I understand he's under stress. I'm 13 weeks pregnant and have struggled so far, thrown up everything I eat, and have been so exhausted I just fall asleep where I'm sitting middle of the day (when I can't cos I'm working.) I've been trying to get to bed asap each day (averaging around 7pm) and the housework is most definately neglected, but it's still more than liveable (mostly because it has to be). I haven't been coping with the washing up recently (food smells trigger sickness) so dh volunteered to help out...but only does it about once every two or three days, so the smell gets to me, and it piles up (not good with 2 adults + up to 6 kids)
But this isn't my grudge tonight. Dh usually does a washing basket of ironing, takes a few hours. He never used to pack it away, It'd be piled on the floor in our room and it would be a state. He's hasn't ironed for very long though, we're usually creased lol.
But the past 4 weeks, I've been trying to go to bed, around 10 (the online shopping takes hours and I only do it online because it's cheaper and dh hates me going food shopping) and dh usually hasn't finished. And like tonight, he has a go at me for 'leaving him downstairs on his own'. I mean, shouting and saying I'm selfish. I struggle concentrating on food shopping, granted I'm usually MNing too, but as you could tell looking from recipes or food topics, I've been posting a lot tonight as I shop for inspiration.
Anyways, tonight he says I won't 'communicate' with him, he wants to 'spend time togheter' etc etc and has shouted at me for leaving him to do the ironing. Also he says 'whenever I'm on the pc in the evening I'm completely unsociable.' Which I think is unfair as I'm never on in the eveing now as I'm in bed, and he uses it upstairs to download music while he's doing his uni work.
Tomorrow night we will watch a movie together, and chances are he'll be on the pc at the same time. THen the rest of the week is him on pc upstairs as normal.
We have this argument every week. Usually I'll go to bed, then I will be shouted at for not taking hanging clothes up with me, which I'll do, then I'll be shouted at for not taking folded stuff, ... then all the stuff that needs packing away eg socks. So by the time I've done all this, he's in bed the same time as me. But I wanted to go to bed an hour earlier! I've tried taking half, I get shouted at for being lazy.
I've tried going to bed really early, I get shouted at for being unsociable, and then he stops ironing and watches tv. If I do manage to get into bed, when he's finished, he'll come in our bedroom, turn the lights on, bang around, then find an excuse to actually wake me up 'where do ds pants go etc'
Tonight was the final straw, I said I was exhausted, and needed sleep, and he said all I do is put myself before him... no acknowledgement of the fact I work full time, cope with a house of kids, keep the house manageable and throw up solidly throughout the day.
I know I know that tonight I have less to do before him, I know I know I should help. But if I walk over there and pick up the hanging clothes, pack it away and go to bed.... in 20 minutes he'll be storming through the house turning lights on and waking me (and prob ds) up.
I've thought about hiring someone to iron... but we have A LOT so it'd be rather expensive... plus why should we pay someone to help out on the one job he does a week? Why not pay someone to help me keep the house tidy? A job I do every day???