How long for ADs to kick in / how much do they actually help?

[DadIsSad]

Have been on Lofepramine (a tricyclic) for a couple of weeks - before that was on Citalopram for 3 weeks (came off that because of concerns about effect on sexual function which was making me more anxious - sex, or a lack of it being one of the root causes of my problems). Feeling pretty down at the moment, though possibly the edge has gone compared to how I was before. Is this the best I can expect from the drugs, or do I have to wait a bit longer before they do anything?

Given my sadness is all related to not being happy about various things in my life (some of which have changed, some of which have been an issue for a long time but I've been able to ignore because other things were good, some just plain old getting stressed by children and hating myself for getting angry at them), can I really expect the drugs to do all that much? They're not going to suddenly make all the other things in my life better - do they just help me not to care that things are sh*t? Though I also wonder if there's a vicious circle that I'm fed up that the drugs aren't doing anything. I suppose at least I'm not noticing any side effects from Lofepramine (or at least nothing specific I can pick out) - which is more than could be said for Citalopram, where there was a significant noticeable effect on sexual function. Though it does seem that I'm not supposed to drink when taking Lofepramine which means we miss out on a little pleasure we did enjoy as a couple (not that I'm an alcoholic by any stretch, but we both enjoyed a bottle of wine with a meal a couple of times a week). Nothing is straightforward.

I have been feeling a lot happier in general for a little while - I've even managed to get back into regular exercise, something I've struggled with for 9 months (and it used to be a huge part of my life) - but I think most of that is down to some improvement in my relationship. The last few days I've started to worry a bit more about whether it's really going to get fixed, and things have also regressed a bit. I suspect that in general I feel a lot happier when I don't think about things to much - tomorrow I have a counselling appointment, so have been thinking about the things which get me down in order to discuss them.

Sorry that's a bit long and rambling - don't know if anybody can really say anything useful to help.

I think it takes a few weeks to kick in before you start noticing a difference. My GP always said wait 3-4 weeks. I was on fluoxetine before I found out I was pregnant, and before that I was on mirtazapine. I am now just relying on counselling whilst I'm pregnant, but plan on going back on fluoxetine once baby is born. They definitely help in taking the edge off I found. But everyone is different. I think counselling will really help as well, as you can then discus your problems with someone who doesn't know you which makes things much easier, but it can take a couple of sessions to feel comfortable with opening up. Exercising more will also help you as well and if it's something that you use to do a lot in the past, then that will help with your confidence and feel good factor.

It can seem like a struggle in the beginning but you've taken the first step which is usually the hardest! Hope that helps in some way x

"Exercising more will also help you as well and if it's something that you use to do a lot in the past, then that will help with your confidence and feel good factor."

Unfortunately, everything round here has downsides as well as upsides. I used to be very successful at sport, and I very much doubt I'll ever be anywhere near that good again (I no longer have the time to train now we have children). I'm not sure how much good it does for my confidence when I go out and can't do what I used to be able to - I've always enjoyed racing a lot more than training, and don't feel like racing when I know I'm going to be rubbish. As our Relate counsellor said, I judge myself harshly (tomorrow is my first individual session - we've had a few with Relate). I certainly don't get what I used to out of it - this is one of my major issues!

Thanks for the comments though.

Oh you poor thing - you know, you are doing all the right things though. Your comment about the exercise made me sad though - you just need to readjust your attitude towards it or pick another sport? Something that you can enjoy that is non-competitive? Something that you can set YOURSELF goals and not compare them to others or how you used to be. Like you say, you simply do not have the time now to be so competitive, or do you? Could you make more time for it? I think pick something totally new, mountain biking is my thing (not that im very good, but i impress mysef sometimes and thats something), it can be as challenging as you want it to be, you dont have to be the best!

As for the drugs, give them time. I was worried about the effects of citalopram on my sex drive as i felt that was all me and DP had left. Weirdly, i had the best orgasms i have ever had on citalopram (only thing was i would pass out - very strange!), but now you are on the tricyclic give them a go, i dont have experience of those.

I too am very harsh on myself and i still haven't got over that really, but do, please, because its no good - you sound like a lovely person, your wife is lucky to have you xxxx

You are not supposed to drink on citaopram either, i think its because alcohol is a depressant, talk to your doctor about this, the odd glass of wine might not be a deal breaker x I drank when i was on ADs it didnt do me any harm