Feeling really down....

[Amandella]

On the surface I guess I have a great life. Happily married for 11 years - two beautiful dd's aged 7 and 2. I gave up work to look after my youngest child as I feel that I missed out on my eldest as I carried on working in a high profile job which I loved. However, my position was made redundant and it coincided beautifully with falling pregnant with my youngest and I happily decided not to seek out another job. I've had nearly 3 years at home now - I go out to toddler groups and do occasional bits of work at home on the computer but I feel so depressed and it's affecting my health. I've developed IBS (at least that's what the GP says) - and it definitely rears its head in stressful situations. I've become frightened of making social engagements as I always seem to have to break them at the last minute as my stomach is playing up....so i don't go out socially very much at all. I have a few friends who I meet during the week with the children but it's awful to say but I feel like i'm missing out on life. I used to have such a great job - travelled the world and had no days sick - now I find everyday I feel below par.....I am bored but I do love being with my daughter. I feel so ridiculous- I'm a member of a lovely gym but haven't been in months and have put on loads of weight. I never buy clothes for myself any more - just the children (who have everything and more they could ever need!)....I just don't see the point in spending money on myself or making an effort at all. My husband is wonderful in his own way but he's not a very tactile person- no hugs for me! He would never understand how I am feeling....sorry, I've ranted on and on but I feel so wretched - I'm crying as I type this.
Any advice would be very welcome.

Just wanted to say hello!

I am sorry you are feeling so down.

I think the best advice would be to start doing some things for yourself. Why don't you go to the gym anymore? Is it because of the IBS?

I don't have any advice but didn't want to leave your thread without posting. Hopefully someoe will be able to advise you. xx

Amandella, so sorry to hear you feel like this.
It does sound that your family life is ok but you are generally bored due to the exciting life you led when you worked.
I think we can all relate to this at times and miss the life we left behind.

Is there any options for you regarding part time work if possible? I do really understand I was made redundant in October and are desperate to find something in life for myself, that I can be forfilled with IYKWIM. Im trying to wreck my brains to do something positive with my life.

I must say you are lucky to experience it all, maybe write a book it sounds really exciting. Amandella. Good luck larsxx
larsxx

Thanks everyone. I don't go to the gym because I have no motivation. It's a Catch 22 as I know I'd feel better if i went but I can't get up the energy. Been to the docs hundreds of times with various ailments and had loads of tests - I'm sure it's all pscosymatic (spelling!) - I have just cancelled YET AGAIN a night out at a friend's house - I was all set to got this morning but just before school run time my stomach started churning and now I feel really sick - probaby nerves...but why!?! I just feel I can't do anything and I'm stuck in the house and I'm driving everyone crazy. Don't know what to do for the best...

Amandella, I think you have to force yourself, I really do. Pick something fairly low key and copeable with and just tell yourself you will do it. Enlist someone's help (dh or a friend) and get them to make you do whatever it is.

If you can't do anything after trying, then I think you might need to see your GP.

(See GP, not about your ailments, but about your mental state.)

I agree with everything said so far but can't really advise on the lifestyle stuff as I'm trying to sort mine out anyway . I just wanted to see if I could help re: the IBS. I've suffered with this for 11 years but it's much more under control now (dr's didn't really know anything about IBS when I first had it). I used to get it really really bad when I was a teenager and would be rolling around the floor in agony and my mum felt helpless. HOWEVER, once I found out what it was a couple of years later, the pain reduced to a more bearable discomfort - I swear a lot of it was made worse because I was worried what was happening to me as no one had heard of it.

I found colpermin capsules helped, presume dr has tried you on something like this? (pure peppermint oil in a capsule)

I also think I'm better because I (usually) try and air my problems more these days (feeling low, stressed etc etc) rather than bottle them all up. I've had councelling since, as I was a bit f'd up when I first had it, and I just think you need to talk to people, even if it's just on here!

I got my first bout of IBS again last month after a long time with no problems. This is due to a horrible Christmas (dh lost job etc) and a lot of worry on my mind. Well, even though I was feeling better, a couple of weeks after my REALLY stressful time, the pain came back. I was so annoyed at myself for getting so tense about things as I should know better by now but hey, we're only human aren't we!

I reckon you need to drag yourself down the gym if you know you'll enjoy it. You need to do something to stop yourself getting so worked up!

Don't really know what to say but feel free to CAT me if you want any more info on the IBS (although the dr's are better now so you probably know it all now)

Hope you feel better soon