Self Esteem

[WarriorQueen]

I have never posted non this board before and I was hoping someone could give me some advice.

In the past I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks but have been free of this for about 5 years now which is great ( I used CBT and it really worked for me)

2 years ago I found out my exh had had numerous affairs in our 13 year marriage and him and I have since divorced.

Over the course of our relationship my self esteem was eroded with him telling me I was too fat/ not funny enough/not nice enough hair etc etc.

When him and I split I worked on myself esteem and I thought I was doing really well.

Fast forward a bit and I am in a relationship with a lovely man who truly loves me, he knows my past and he knows my ex cheated on me.

But my self esteem issues are back big time. I feel very threatened by other women that come onto my radar. He only has to talk about a woman from work and almost instinctively I get defensive and jealous I shut him out and I spiral into self doubt , thinking she must be prettier than me, must be funnier, cleverer, have a better career, be a better mum than me.

I don't know what to do really to get rid of this pattern. I know that it can be really damaging to relationships in long term and whilst he might be patient now I really think it would start to get annoying after a while.

I can't really afford private counselling again so was wondering if there were any books/tips/ideas that you might have that could help me out

Thanks

I am sorry, wish I had ideas but posting for help myself, just wanted to offer u hugs and not surprised u r having problems after the way your ex behaved.

Someone will b along soon to give u good advice but if not post this on aibu, trust me u will get a huge response and help. X

Look at it this way. After the way your ex behaved, why would you trust it not to happen again? Your feelings are normal so don't beat yourself up about it.

Self esteem for women is good

And so is Overcoming low self esteem

Remember the trick is to get to the point where you accept yourself as good enough, so that whether or not your new man stays/likes you/loves you/thinks you're pretty, you are ok!

Oh and thump your ex from me. He's obviously a blind bat with a major problem who needed excuses to justify his weakness in affairs.