Hi there I've been thinking about posting for a while now wondering whether i might have a hormone imbalance or something due to my terrible mood swings....these have gone on all my life I'd say even since childhood. But then i read a thread on here yesterday about BPD and i just kept thinking thats me. The lack of self esteem and confidence one day and then the next feeling great, to the point where some days i dont want to go anywhere or see anyone, the next or even within a day i feel fine. I've wondered if i've had depression in the past, but I don't think so, maybe brought on by things like drinking and drug abuse (in the past now) but its a job to say which causes which, does the depression cause the alcohol abuse or the alcohol abuse cause the depression? i've self harmed during my teens and now have such scarred arms i cant ever wear sleeveless tops, this gets me down especialy in the summer i feel like such an idiot for that. And then there are the mood swings usually aimed at my partner, I definitely feel the let down and unsupported thing with him but then looking back I've felt the same in most relationships and pushed people away as a result. (I hate it when i feel he isn't putting me and our children first and as he has children from past relationship this can happen quite a lot and i've startde to feel quite a lot of resentment) Can someone give me a rough idea on how to work out what my issues are and the best way forward? Are people with BPD really self centred horrible people and why did someone think that a child brought up by someone with BPD would be damaged? I love my kids to bits and never take anything out on them....its just my own insecurity..