Hello, I haven't posted much here, just looking for support really. I had a little job in a shop after long term unemployment, bipolar nastiness. Lost the job after 6 weeks, due to not concentrating, depression essentially. I am back on antidepressants, waiting to see if they will work. I am getting through each day, worried that my daughter is picking up on my feeling low - I am doing my absolute best. The holidays don't really help, however she is going to my dad and stepmother's for a few days from Thursday.
My paragraphing has gone to pot, sorry. So I am unemployed again, waiting for ESA to kick in, though I am not bad enough to pass the medical, may have to appeal, terrified, then I guess they would put my on jobseekers. Can't drive, live somewhere isolated. Am isolated. Am being taken to court by ex to seek contact. Terrified. Mum has major op in two days after two and a half years of terrible cancer.
I have some, a handful of good friends, but they can't help apart from being supportive, which is worth its weight in gold I realise, and I am extremely grateful.
At least I have a train station at the end of the road, must go out more with DD. Online shopping a godsend, public transport here terrible and no money to get license or run a car.
How will I ever get employed? Once I am better? Will I get a pension even though I am not working forever? I realise at almost 34 this is a while away but I am worried about EVERYTHING. I am trying to think that things change, I will get employment one day. Scared of the childcare juggle even if I do get work. What on earth am I going to do? I am so scared, and so lonely, and I don't know what to do. Trying to take one day at a time, but the panic overwhelms me. Sorry for long post. Thank you, so scared.