Helpless

[PerditaMcLeod]

Hottest day of the year and am sitting here in long sleeved cardigan to hide the mess my arms are after last Sunday's 'moment'. Thought I was ok, but the gashes on my arms, legs and stomach suggest otherwise.

DP being amazing but I just feel such a liability and so pointless. Am lucky to have a great GP who has given me increased dose of Sertraline and some sleeping pills to help try and get my sleep patterns normalised.

Sorry- just a rant and feeling so tired and helpess. Just wish I could shake the black dog.

Thank you Joyful. I know I am loved very much by a wonderful man and my amazing DD.

Feeling much better today- had a fantastic night of uninterrupted sleep, the sun is shining and the clocks have gone forward which always makes a difference to my moods.

Thank you so much for your response- the cuts are healing nicely- thankfully they were not too deep and whilst they looked terrible at the time and I still don't feel comfortable going out bare armed, they are healing.

I intend to spend the day in the garden with my Kindle soaking up the sunshine.

I know there will be more bad days ahead but I find myself scared by the lack of control I feel I sometimes have over my emotions. Thanks for the support- its always reassuring to hear I am not the only one.