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Is this doing my best friend any good?

5 replies

Emmielu · 24/03/2012 12:55

My best friend has just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder & depression. Her cousin has only known her 6 months & so far this has happened:
Best friend has not been at home for 3 months. Shes been living with her cousin who previously (8 years ago) had depression. Best friend hasnt be home since. Shes left her dog with her mum because cousin wont allow dog in her house - fair enough but shes only allowed to see her dog once a week because cousin likes to have a text from best friend every 2 hours just so she knows shes alive. Cousin wants to know who best friend is with, when shes going out, what time she will be home, where she is going and best friend even has a bedtime curfew of 8pm. Best friend wont talk to me on the phone in her cousins house because she knows shes listening in. Cousin insisted on having my number and has even text & rang me when im with best friend to make sure im still with her & shes there. Best friend has been told to text every 2 hours even when shes working friday-sunday evenings. Best friend has been told to promise her cousin a lot of things & has told her if she doesnt text or misscall her every 2 hours she will ring the police & class her as a missing person who is at risk of harming herself.

I dont see how this is helping. I've lost my best friend. We used to see eachother one day every week & now i cant even have that. I see her for 2 hours once a week now because her cousin is constantly on at her & asking her to be home when she finishes work so she can keep an eye on her. My best friend has been in tears on the phone to me before telling me she wants to go home but cant see it happening. She wants to move closer to me but isnt allowed to until her cousin trusts her enough to let her go home & live on her own again. Its hurting her. Her dog was her world & she hates being apart from him. She cant tell her cousin anything because she shouts & argues with her. I cant get my best friend on the phone for even half an hour without being told shes gotta go because her cousin wants her to do something or she needs to text her to let her know where she is. Its driving me insane & really starting to worry me. Shes 22 years old. Is this doing her any good or is it likely to make things worse?

OP posts:
clam · 24/03/2012 13:08

This reply has been deleted

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PurplePidjin · 24/03/2012 13:13

It sounds like a totally tucked up situation to me - your friend is effectively being kept prisoner by some random stranger.

Either your friend requires inpatient medical treatment, or she needs to break away from the "cousin". What does her Mum have to say about it? CPN and MH team?

clam · 24/03/2012 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madmouse · 24/03/2012 13:18

Is there a particular reason why BF lives with this cousin?

Emmielu · 24/03/2012 13:25

When her cousin took her to the doctors, she offered to have her live with her while she started the medication & to keep an eye on her. Shes not been home since. Doctors agreed that living with cousin until further notice was a good idea. They dont know just how limited best friend is to having her independence. She'd give anything to get back home & live the life that a 22 year old should be leading but its not happening. My friend has the mental health issues but her cousin has had depression in the past so thinks that shes the best person to be looking after her. Best friends mum thinks its a good idea but then she never really was close to her daughter.

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