birth debrief?

[nearlyreadytopop]

I recently contacted the hospital where my son was born to ask about a birth debrief. I have been told that the head of midwifery and gynae is happy to meet with me but they want to know if I want the obstetrician present.

To be honest all I want is to feel better about how my son arrived in the world and the week he spent in SCBU.

It sounds awfully formal to have the head and a doctor there. Is this standard for debriefs?

Not here, my debrief was with a midwife, working from my notes (despite ventouse delivery). Might depend on how things went - if not great, this might be what their "being open" policy requires that they offer you. Guess what matters is what feels most comfortable for you?

the overall outcome was good, I have a lovely baby.

Emergency forceps delivery, cord around neck, low apgar scores, baby wisked off to SCBU, gynae opp for me 6 months later.
I suppose I expected a midwife and a copy of my notes, not a panel.
I only asked about it because I had a pregancy scare and thought I couldnt go through that again.

I would be quite tempted to contact them and say that what you really want is an informal conversation with a midwife, not a panel, at least in the first instance.

I had a fabulously good debrief with my obstetrician (my ds had an increasingly traumatic 3 day entry into the world, seemed fine then after 12 hours started fitting, turned out to have brain damage & disabilities). He's a bit of a national and even international expert in some areas and he was great, open and honest.

A panel seems very wrong, because you may have felt very helpless during the labour and that SCBU week and a high-up panel might just make you feel helpless again. I wonder if it has anything to do with increasing litigation culture.

Maybe state that you just want to go over the birth with one person who was actually there.

You may find it helpful to have the two different people there, instead of just one person's opinion, so personally I'd go for having the obstetrician there as well. It's not a large panel, just two people who want to help and advise you as best they can.

You say you'd rather not go through another difficult birth, so I'm guessing they may suggest a planned C-section if you have another baby.