Hi
Very long and tedious story, grew up in alcoholic home, got lost in and then recovered from various addictions, managed to get into and then extricate myself from an abusive relationship, I work full time in a job I enjoy and am a lone parent to two boys, one ASD. Am now in a better relationship but it causes me angst.
Anywayyy
After all this time, am still struggling to feel really alright, have a tendancy for mood swings, anxiety, feelings of emptyness, lonelyness, longing to connect - existential angst.
And I can cope, but it is bloody hard work emotionally and I'm fed up with it. Sometimes take Beta Blockers for heart palpitations, especially if I go for a run, and also get them around my period - also seems to be connected to low Iron and my underactive (treated) thyroid.
Doctors have suggested AD's.
Now way back (over 10 years ago) when I first got into recovery from addiction I took AD's for a couple of months, but my recollection is hazy of that time. I remember trying Prozac forst and feeling really internally restless and crazy and having to stop taking it within days and phone someone to be with me incase I did something crazy - really fightened myself. Then tried Effexor - just like speed and couldn't sleep for 3 days. Back to doctor, next stop, Seroxat. I seem to remember that was OK - eliminated the ups and the downs but no major side effects. Came off it after a couple of months because I felt less alive and had got into a relationship (Ha!).
So, my doctor has suggested Sertraline, Citrolpram (sp) or has said I could try Seroxat again. I am a lot more in touch than I was when I last took it (no longer smoke 30 a day etc) and am scared i'll get stuck on it, but am scared of taking one of the other ones incase they send me crazy. Also, my pride tells me I can manage without.
What to do??