health worrier out of control/hypercondriac

[blighter]

i go through phases of really low mental states, usually brought on by the sudden terror panic that i have something awfully wrong with me health wise. dh is aware as i cannot live with him hiding this, he tries to understand but cannot as he is a really 'sound' person (never had any mental health issues, unlike myself). anyone else on here sympathise with a condition that can be terrifying although sounds funny to some non sufferers. really hard to control once you get it into your head, the panic is all consuming and takes over. my hormones don't help. i am 47 and in peri' phase which is a real joy

Me too. And I'm 46, so nearly snap. And that's the first time I've ever admitted it to someone who isn't DH.

Have had it for some time and just been reading some of the old threads on here has been very helpful.

one - what does your dh say? is he supportive? mine is used to my odd whims, i used to suffer severe PA's and he has been with me through them even though he luckily hasn't the first idea what it feels liek to have a full blown PA. for me i identify my worsening hypercondria with aging, it really brings to home your own mortality. your infertility stops, your body starts to change, i feel quite depressed about it if i dwell on it which i try not to as i am lucky, i am happy and have a great life but it is still there, i compare it to that paradise syndrome. i confided in my mother about it, she snapped at me, she just doesn't get it. i have tried to explain that it can become really full blown and that mentally you really think you are losing it, that it is a mental state and bloody awful, you can't control it although sometimes if i suddenly spot a mole that i think might look like it has changed etc i can actually turn it off, ignore it and the 'fear' about it passes, so liberating when it does although this year i have been in a grip of one worry after another, not having a great time at the moment tbh. my sister really shouted at me when i told her, i rarely tell her anything as she is a cold brick, can't believe i confided in her abut this, i got hte response i expected. she is very closed off and dismissive of people's issues

DH is alright about it; he knows that if I speak one of my worries out loud to him that it helps lessen it a bit. I don't really tell anyone else at all.

I completely agree with you about the aging thing, that's very true for me too. Also, my father died two years ago of colon cancer, only three or four months after he was diagnosed, and that has brought some of it on for me.

The wierd thing is that I know, on some level, that I am using the health anxiety to channel other anxieties - about work, about being judged by people. And I can also see that bits of it are to do with my own family upbringing - my brother was very ill when I was a small child. But knowing all of that makes no difference at all and I am still anxious.