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Mental health

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Help with partner's OCD

6 replies

Rollersara · 09/03/2012 09:14

I am currently on maternity leave with DD1, who is 4 weeks old. Generally things are going well, but for one thing - DP's OCD with recycling. I think I've been able to ignore it until now because I've been working, but being at home all day with LO makes me realise how bad it is. It just feels like the house is being taken over by rubbish. There are piles of cardboard and plastics on the living room floor. The dining table in unusable because of all the "sorted" plastic and paper on it. There is rubbish in bags on the kitchen floor, it's piling up by the back door so I can't get out into the garden. There are cans on the hob that I have to move to cook. I am not allowed to throw anything away because it has to be rechecked by DP. Not even the bin bag full of dirty nappies :(

I have a health condition that makes me unsteady on me feet so am constantly worried about falling over, and of course what will happen when DD starts to crawl. I don't want to have visitors because the shared space is so messy. When we were in hospital with DD his mum stayed at ours and cleaned the bedroom, and he got really angry with her, and he'd be the same with me if I threw anything away, literally anything at all.

When I try to talk to DP about it he says he is working on it, that DD's birth set him back but he is getting on top of things. But he isn't. We are generating more rubbish than he is putting out. He says he is trying really hard, and I believe him, he is tired when he gets home from work and recycling is exhausting for him, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to cope.

He's on medication and has had CBT in the past and says he knows how it works so there is no point having it again. i just don't know what to do any more. He is a great partner and father and I love him to bits, I want to help him and keep the house liveable for me and our daughter, but I just seem to have run out of options :(

OP posts:
madmouse · 09/03/2012 09:22

This can't continue as the house is becoming one big health hazard for a baby. I think you need to start getting some help and advice for yourself. In extremis he may have to move out for a while Sad

Do you mean he has to check bags of nappies for recycling? Can you make that the one thing he focuses on for now: Letting go of bags of nappies?

madmouse · 09/03/2012 09:23

Speak to your HV and or GP or contact Mind for advice

Rollersara · 09/03/2012 09:33

Thanks madmouse. HV said there is not much she can do and to talk to DP. I don't think he checks the nappy bag, but I do have to promise there is nothing else in there and I can't put it out myself. Am switching to reusable nappies soon, but that won't solve the other issues...

OP posts:
madmouse · 09/03/2012 09:40

Lousy HV - this is about your child's health - it's every inch her business Angry

Have you spoken to your GP?

Rollersara · 09/03/2012 09:46

Not talked to the GP yet, am waiting for my 6 week check-up. HV says she has to be careful about DP and patient confidentiality. I'm not sure what she can do anyway Confused

OP posts:
madmouse · 09/03/2012 10:03

There is no confidentiality issue - the GP does not have to talk to you about DP. She needs to talk to you about you and baby - what you are supposed to do now.

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