I am struggling to cope with my 3yo atm (as well as my ds, but he is much less trouble than her) and our relationship has pretty much crumbled since ds was born (6mo).
I found myself bellowing at her this morning because she didn't come to the door with her scooter quickly enough - I don't actually think she was dawdling, I think she was just being 3 and a bit slow - and she actually looked stunned, she wasn't sure what she'd done wrong. I then got cross with myself and was generally lost in my own bad temperedness this morning. My mood swings are massive and I am sure that DD is getting confused because of me trying to be nice after being HorrorMom.
I think I am not handling my anger well at all and this has been a previous symptom of depression with me. I am going thru a pretty rough patch generally,
DH a workaholic/scared of losing his job so never home to help, I am not that happy with our CM but DD adores her so am kind of grumpy with her at the moment, which she doesn't deserve.
I have high levels of paranoia due to not having many friends, I tend to over think everything and this leads to me feeling like everyone is judging me. The friendship thing makes me very sad but my self esteem is very low so I tend to panic about everything and assume people don't like me or think I am beneath them somehow. This leads to my own inverted snobbery/I don't need them attitude which is of course horrible and entirely useless.
We need to move house and this isn't going to happen for a while, so we are currently tripping over baby stuff everywhere and I am harbouring continual burning resentment/irritation with DH about being tidy/organised even though I'm actually pretty messy myself.
I am being unfair to DH because I know he's doing his best but I regularly have thoughts about divorce, did I marry the right person etc. because he is working too hard to provide support as a parent and a husband.
We have all been ill recently and I am still not well/not sleeping well because of DS sleeping badly - this has made things even harder to cope with. Today I seriously considered sending DD for a week with her grandparents just to get a break from her because her behaviour is annoying me so much. I am not sure this is healthy but I feel like all our dialogues are aggressive, she whines or shouts at and I continually feel like I cannot tolerate that anymore. I have very little energy for positive parenting tho it works when I do it. She is a fantastic child but very demanding and it's hard to cope with her when I have to do all the time. She is at nursery 5 days a week, and it's still hard!
I also spend far too much time on MN. I need to get out more and see people but really don't want to and as a result have let DD watch more and more tv, not played with her and this of course impacts on her behaviour.
I am fully aware of ways to overcome my various issues but as a whole I don't feel I am actually coping and I think I do need help.
If you have had PND, did you have any of these thoughts/feelings?
Did medication or therapy work best for you?