Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Flip

Original poster

I am under section 3 and I am flushing my meds away since 9th February

21 replies

lazyhazydaisy · 06/03/2012 21:23

The staff think I am much much better and that 800mg of Quetiapine is working very well. I keep telling them that I am nought out of ten in terms of mental well-being; I feel as if I have died, as if I am going through the motions; the horror of being kidnapped out of my house, the brutality of the police. The staff cannot (can they?) have any idea that I am flushing it all down the loo. I don't think I am mentally ill, so I don't think that I can be better. But the staff think I am a success story in terms of 'presentation'. What should I do? (rhetorical question?) I am so, so lonely. I am looking on the MIND website and I just don't think I have the illnesses that I read about there. They are now saying I am bi-polar, but I have never been high, and definitely not in the way some people here have been. Wow.

I am just pushing on, trying to stay sane, but I feel both broken and institutionalised. I doubt you can help. I have to pretend to be ill and to keep taking meds to get out. I am not sure that I can do that and don't see why I should.
Still doing the language course and sort of turning into general helpful person, which is not really helpful to me.

OP posts:

madmouse · 06/03/2012 21:28

I'm sorry Daisy but the more posts I read from you the more I think you are more ill than you realise

frutilla · 06/03/2012 21:36

Sorry to read you are going through such a hard time. I went through a very dark phase when I was 19, I see now that it was a spiritual crisis due to social problems. But I don't know you and aren't a doctor, so can't really comment. Is there a friend you can confide in, are you getting any support?

nothingoldcanstay · 06/03/2012 21:48

Sorry just looking because I posted earlier. Why do you not want medication?

Also why post on mental health? If you want to think you are well then post on something else.

You might be lonely because you only worry about yourself. I'm here ...want to listen to someone else and their stuff?

Original poster

lazyhazydaisy · 06/03/2012 23:53

I posted in mental health because I started by posting in chat and mnhq moved the thread to mental health. I have confided in one person. She thinks I should store the tablets somewhere, so that when they discharge me, as being 'better' due to the right 'titration', then I can demonstrate that in fact I am 'better' due to having gotten over the trauma and given up fighting the diagnosis. I am reluctant to do this because I fear they would then force me to have injections.

I appreciate your point, madmouse, and I'll mull it over. I spent so long saying I am not schizophrenic, psychotic, all the other 'differential diagnoses' that got me on to S3, and now the staff have narrowed it down to bi-polar. Which is being successfully treated.

My friend has also suggested that I lie and say I am bi-polar, that I will take the meds, etc. I am considering this option.

Does anyone have any knowledge of the effects of taking Q if one is not bp? I am less drowsy in the mornings and no longer constipated (sorry - tmi)

I do feel 'mentally disordered' or however you want to put it, by the trauma of the police thing, the handcuffing and the utter confusion of suddenly being here.

There are, and I think this is due to cuts, some very very unwell people here who do some absolutely extraordinary things. Several nurses have told me off the record that they don't think I should be on an acute ward. I honestly think that there must be people with greater needs than me.

OP posts:

Original poster

lazyhazydaisy · 06/03/2012 23:58

It wasn't my en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosenhan_experimentoriginal idea.

OP posts:

catsareevil · 06/03/2012 23:59

Why do you say that you are pretending to be ill?

If you are, as the staff think, ill, and you tell staff that you are taking the medication when you arent then if you remain ill they will think that Quetiapine is a medication that doesnt work for you and change the medication to something else. If you are ill that could delay your discharge from hospital, and reduce your options for medication in the future.

Original poster

lazyhazydaisy · 07/03/2012 00:00

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosenhan_experiment

OP posts:

Original poster

lazyhazydaisy · 07/03/2012 00:03

I am not 'pretending to be ill'. I am pretending to take medicine and the staff think that the medication that I am not taking is 'curing' me, successfully.

I'll keep you posted.

OP posts:

Taysh1109 · 07/03/2012 00:06

Are you saying that you're doing an experiment?? Or does the Rosenhan Experiment just hold similarities to what you're experiencing at the moment?

Original poster

lazyhazydaisy · 07/03/2012 00:08

I am not making myself clear here. If I don't take the prescription drugs orally, they will be forcibly injected into me. And I am shit scared of needles and when I need to have my bloods taken, as I have twice so far here, I just can't tell you how much I hate it. And the idea of a forcible injection is my own personal hell.

OP posts:

Taysh1109 · 07/03/2012 00:10

You said that you're not unwell, but then have also said that your bipolar is being successfully treated? I'm not sure I follow. If you have bipolar then you are unwell.

catsareevil · 07/03/2012 00:21

Have you appealed against your section? You can get a solicitor, get an independent report on your mental health and appeal to a tribunal to be released from your section.

They will then come to an independent decision on whether you can be detained in hospital or not.

Upwardandonward · 07/03/2012 09:12

What madmouse and catsareevil say.

It's dangerous to be secreting meds, far better to tell staff you're not taking them - after all, they'll still see that you're better, wont they?

orangeflutie · 07/03/2012 11:41

I feel for you as I know you've been through hell, having been sectioned and roughhandled by the police, so you have my sympathy and it will take a while for you to get over the whole experience.

However, I really don't think lying about meds will help you. You will use a lot of mental energy working out what story you will be telling to whom and could dig quite a big hole for yourself to fall into. It would be best to be honest otherwise you may find you have a harder time in the long run convincing people you're not ill and can make your own decisions.

Tiredtrout · 07/03/2012 15:39

I'm sorry Daisy but I've been reading your threads for a little while and I have to agree with Mouse. I think that you are more ill than you realise. You need to speak to the staff about your concerns over the medication, they need to know if you are taking them or not as if you aren't taking them and you are improving as you say how can they monitor it

NanaNina · 07/03/2012 16:42

I too think you are more ill than you realise, and that your thinking is distorted at present, due to your illness. I don't understand how you are getting rid of the meds. When I was on a psych ward you had to take the meds there and then. You need to stop messing about Daisy and accept that you are ill and stop worrying about the actual diagnosis and more important than anything stop listening to this "friend" who is messing you up even more.

I don't understand what the nurse means "that you shouldn't be on an acute ward" - the only alternative is a "long-stay ward" and I'm sure you wouldn't want that, not that there are any of them left, maybe for people with alzheimers or something similar. All acute means in this context is "immediate"

I'm sorry if I sound a bit harsh Daisy and I don't mean to, as I know only too well (as do many of the other posters on your thread)the torment of mental illness.

Original poster

lazyhazydaisy · 07/03/2012 18:27

There are long-term people here, some who have been here months or years. It is possible that my 'illness' is telling me that I am not mentally ill, but then my reading and experience tells me that I have never been manic, or anywhere near it.

I am very wary of dolling out strong drugs in large quantities under threat of forced injection with no evidence such as there would be for say, epilepsy or diabetes.

It is surprisingly easy to pretend to take the drugs. The weird thing is how the staff say how the drugs have made me better and I have to bite my tongue. Don't know whether to laugh or cry. I am absolutely furious about the whole thing, which, incidentally has so far cost over £100K.

OP posts:

Upwardandonward · 07/03/2012 18:37

Have you appealed your section? You should be helped to do this - surely that's the way to get them to look at what they are doing?

joanofarchitrave · 07/03/2012 18:47

I think you need to be able to talk to someone about this diagnosis. It is feasible to have bipolar disorder without mania. My DH had the diagnosis of bipolar disorder for a long time, but really has almost never been manic (perhaps once, long ago?) - they deal with that by calling it bipolar II, which isn't characterised by mania, or atypical bipolar disorder. Is that what they mean in your case? He now has the diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder.

Is there any sign of the consultant psych appearing on the ward any time soon to discuss the diagnosis and meds with you? Have you taken any of the Quetiapine? It sounds as if you did for a bit - that you were feeling very sedated and bunged up? Really unpleasant

Being on the ward can feel incredibly threatening as I understand it. Is there a female-only section (and would that feel any better?) What about contacting MIND or talking to a nurse and seeing if there is an advocacy service locally, someone who can come and support you and be on your side?

catsareevil · 07/03/2012 19:56

When you say that the staff think that you are better, does that mean that they are planning your discharge from hospital?

If not then they probably think that you are still ill (though maybe more settled than you were). That means that you may find that a change in medication is suggested for you.

If you really think that the staff are totally wrong, and that you are well, then you can get a solicitor, and get them to appeal your section and get an independent report. This is legally aided, and will be a chance for you to meet with a psychiatrist who is independent of the hospital you are in. If they feel that you are well then that would be a report that could help you at the tribunal. If you win your tribunal then you would be able to leave hospital, and would not have to pretend to do anything.

NanaNina · 07/03/2012 20:01

In my experience (2 three month stays on a psych ward) it is not threatening. It is boring and there is not a lot of interaction between the nursing staff and the patient. Everyone had a weekly review with their consultant psychiatrist and ward staff, OT, CPN sometimes. You could have someone with you for the review (relative or friend) Conslt Psychs don't wonder around the wards - they are far too important to do that!!

Daisy should be able to get all the information and support she needs from the Conslt Psych or Ward Manager or key nurse, and this is partly what the weekly review is for. I honestly think Daisy is reading too much stuff and is more ill than she realises, which she doesn't totally rule out. Sorry Daisy I should be talking to you not about you.

Flip